Fred Allen Quotes

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

Always say 'no pun intended' to draw attention to the intended pun.

Puns are the droppings of soaring wits.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world.

Humor writing is something that comes naturally to me.

I'm a terrible punster. And I love to rhyme. I just can't help myself.

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way.

I'm probably doing puns more than anything in my life.

I think puns are not just the lowest form of wit, but the lowest form of human behavior.

I think the humor of double puns is incredible.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

I was the class innuendist.

A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.

A good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.

I'm shameless, and I love a pun. There's a lot of Beth puns.

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.

We've always had a philosophy that we would always go wherever the joke is.

I like really bad puns - proper, red-top, nasty puns - I find them funny.

Jokes are unanswerable objections.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

You can be funny and say what you mean; these ideas are not mutually exclusive. Some of the best jokes came from people who meant it. See: Pryor, Bruce, Carlin, etc.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.