Eoin Colfer Quotes

When a customer is really not happy, it's a very unpleasant experience.

I worked the AV counter at the Roland Heights public library in the '80s. My best story from the library was the time a couple asked for a recommendation, and I recommended Raising Arizona and they absolutely hated it. They came back hungry for blood. I was on my lunch break and my boss came out and said, "Hey kid, you need to come talk to these people. They totally hate Arizona." And he said, "Arizona's a dog; nobody gets that movie."

Sports fans have been mistreated for a long time. They have overpaid for inferior food and they have had poor service.

Sometimes, when you have someone behind the counter who's supposed to assist you and help you out, just being completely bored and uninterested - sometimes it's a little bit frustrating, you know?

Did Mad freakin' Max just call me irritating?

The other day at a drive-through, I reminded the teenage girl serving me that she forgot my drinks. She looked at me, hissed, rolled her eyes, and then took her sweet time getting me the sodas.

I didn't mind if they yelled at me, but when they came on the field, it was a different story.

Why don't you bring your face up here and let me punch it? Then you can tell me (if I'm stronger).

I like fighting. I get into rows all the time.

Know how and how much to tip people who expect gratuities, even in the case of poor service.

If they [political opponents] go around lying about your record, insulting your job performance, your wife and your patriotism, you ought to double up your fist and knock the crap out of them.

You can shut the fuck up, or you can fire me

You said something I didn't say. Now shove it.

You can think you know somebody. But when they're trying to punch you in the face, you really know somebody. You learn their tendencies.

I went into a Beverly Hills shop to buy an attache case. They had 250 cases on their shelves. I asked an attractive saleswoman if they carried one made of belting leather. She said 'no.' That was the end of the conversation. She made no attempt to show me another case that would provide equal service. I didn't buy an attache case.

I just like punching loudmouths in the face.

Oracle is not known for its high levels of customer satisfaction.

I know if someone talked trash to me, I'd want to kick his butt.

Me calling out Roy Jones is disrespectful.

There's nothing worse than a bunch of toothless, ignorant people yelling at you. It's horrible.

The neighbor's kid was bullying my kid. Crossing the line. Threatening him all the time. I went over there to tell him what was going on. I had on flip-flops. I wasn't there to fight. It was a misunderstanding between a couple of dudes where one thing led to another.

I'm like a waiter and you something like a hater with trays in both hands, place an order I can cater.

Shut your damn mouth.

You were an ass long before I made one outta ya!

Did ya get in a couple of good swipes?" Emmett asked eagerly. "No! Of course not!" "No, not really? You really didnt attack him?" "Emmett!" I protested. "Aw, what a waste. And here you're probably the one person who could take him- since he can't get into your head to cheat- and you had a perfect excuse too. I've been dying to see how he'd do without that advantage.