Jimmy Fallon Quotes

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set.

Once I fell out of a tree and was hit by a motorbike. I still have the scar on my head now.

I still haven't found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it, so no jokes about that yet.

I spent a day in a neck brace on a hospital trolley after falling from a horse and cart in Ireland. All the nurses thought I was a traveler, which made me laugh. Who else comes into a hospital saying they've fallen off a horse and cart?

I was 21, and rehearsing a play, took a fall and was in a coma for a few days. And when I recovered, I'd lost my sense of smell completely.

If I fall and break my neck, will you say something nice at my funeral?" "Like 'Kyler was usually more graceful?

If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!

President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

I fell, you see. Trod on my abbot, Father Habit. Oh, dear! I mean.

Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.

Don't be very frightened, Marilla. I was walking the ridge-pole and I fell off. I suspect I have sprained my ankle. But, Marilla, I might have broken my neck. Let us look on the bright side of things.

Some injuries heal more quickly if you keep moving.

If you fall on concrete, that's yo ass fault

Wow I can't belive I won. This is awesome. Don't trip and fall. I'm gonna get to thank the fans, this is so cool. Oh, Kanye West is here. Cool haircut. What are ya doing there... Ouch... I guess I'm not gonna get to thank the fans.

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

Who knew hitting my head and passing out would be so much fun?

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

First Lady Michelle Obama has posted an exercise video of her beating up a punching bag. But don't worry, Vice President Biden is going to be OK.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

Captain looks at Janie closely. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph," she says. "You're gonna have a heck of a shiner by the time the day's over. Did you black our?" "I...uh..." Janie shrugs. "I really have no idea." "Yes, I think she did." Cabel cuts in. "I'm going to need to watch her all day. And probably all night, too," he adds. Very, very seriously. The captain throws a rubber eraser at him and sends him out for coffee.

I was on my back, looking up at Morelli through cobwebs, and my first thought was that the 7-Eleven victim had exacted revenge on me, and I’d been stun gunned. The cobwebs cleared, and I discounted stun gunning. “What happened?” I asked Morelli. “You fainted.” “That’s ridiculous.” “I agree, but if someone sent me a dead woman I might faint, too.” He was down on one knee, bending over me. “Are you ready to get up?” “I need a moment.” “Don’t take too long. People will think I’m proposing.

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

I only won $250 all summer. And then I got crippled. I had a horse step on me while performing and it was messed up for a while.