Jennifer Armentrout Quotes

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

You don't want to be like the motion picture exec who had so many people at his funeral, but they were there just make sure he was dead. Or how about the guy who, at his funeral, the priest said, "Won't anyone stand up and say anything nice for the deceased?" and finally someone said, "Well, his brother was worse."

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Nice day for a funeral.

Comedy is brutal. It's powerful, though.

I'm not a big fan of comedy roasts because most of the time I find them to be really mean, but once in a while, you'll hear something perfectly worded and well-crafted.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

My success comes in making fun of whatever you're doing. That's my way.

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.

I say things I get away with, and it becomes a joke.

Colombian humor is very black, very sarcastic.

Even when I was in high school and the Navy, I was the guy who could rip somebody, and they'd laugh at it.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

You can make fun of everything.

What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty while doing it.

Even people that I agree with can do something that would be a target for a bit of humor.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

Raillery is a mode of speaking in favor of one's wit at the expense of one's better nature.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again!

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.

Humor is hostility.

I go to funerals. I go to earthquakes.

A funeral was a great form of entertainment. A wake was a great form of entertainment.

Everyone has to go to a funeral at some time and you need to be dark and sombre, and in a black tie.