Michael J. Knowles Quotes

Every day I turn on my television set and I see Newt Gingrich on television, I rejoice.

Republicans sleep in twin beds—some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats.

The caricatures that the mainstream media and the Democrats have about Republicans have taken hold.

People go, 'Oh, Trump must be good for comedy,' and I go, 'Ehhh.'

In Sarah Palin's new book, she says when she first laid eyes on her future husband, she said out loud, 'Thank you, God,' which is the same thing the Democrats said when they first laid eyes on Sarah Palin.

You could accuse Republicans of a lot of things, but you could never convict us of being too conservative!

I never wanted to do political satire because it seems too surface to me.

Now, most of the time I'm going to agree with the Democrats and disagree with the Republicans.

You've got the brain-washed, that's the Democrats, and the brain-dead, that's the Republicans!

I've been studying the Constitution for myself but also as a way for me, as a Democrat, to comprehend the Right. I think it's important that people who are politically active understand both sides.

I love Mikhail Bulgakov. He is very original and takes the story to unexpected places. I didn't realise political writing could be so funny.

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

For me, my party views don't advance my narrative. Until I can find a way to write political satire like my idols Christopher Buckley or P.J. O'Rourke, I'll simply say what team I play for and leave it at that.

From my experience, politicians are much more uncomfortable being made fun of than they are being preached at and screeched at - you know, and the soapbox routine. They're much more uneasy knowing they're a target of ridicule.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

Politics in Scotland is far too important to be taken seriously.

But instead, Democrats are so bent on seeing Republicans as a bunch of angry, right wing, intolerant, unreliable extremists that they have a track record of missing the mood of the country, especially the sentiment of people who don't wake up to 'The New York Times.'

If Democrats were good at thinking like Republicans, they would see the light and stop being Democrats.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

I tell you why I don't think I will ever vote for a Democrat, if I may say so. Because for me, the number one issue is right to life, and I don't think the Democrats are very good on the right-to-life issue.

The term 'serious actor' is kind of an oxymoron, isn't it? Like 'Republican party' or 'airplane food.'

I'm a great admirer of 'The Simpsons.' It's very surprising because it's backed by a right-wing television company in the U.S., and quite often it's poking fun at the people who would be its audience.

Sarcasm all around the world is always against right wing and against people in power. That's the definition of political sarcasm.