Demetri Martin Quotes

It's just not a good idea to drink and drive; that is just common sense. But common sense is not that common!

After the crash happened, I was so humiliated and embarrassed. I thought of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, that they must hate me.

And this should go without saying. That's why I'm going to say it: Drinking and driving don't mix. Do your drinking early in the morning and get it out of the way. Then go driving while the visibility is still good.

I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?

This is interesting. Researchers have found that people who drive drunk are more dangerous on the road than drivers who are high on marijuana. Don't get too excited. It's mostly because the drivers using marijuana are just sitting in the Taco Bell drive-through.

If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.

I have a responsibility, and it's something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would.

I cannot emphasize just how dangerous it is cycling in the city. Especially now. Even though it is against the law to do this, you'll see people texting while they drive.

People do really stupid things while driving.

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Hi, I'm Jeff Healy of the Jeff Healy band. Don't drink and drive. I don't... you're blind!

I think that texting and driving is a 100 percent no-go. I think it should be banned everywhere because you cannot be focused on looking ahead, in the mirrors, being aware of what's around you, and to type on a small keyboard and a small screen.

Riding my motorcycle around L.A. is like my own video game. But unlike many folks at the wheel, I am occupied with getting where I'm going and keeping myself safe. Most people are applying makeup, texting, and checking out the beauty in the next car.

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

All it takes is one drink to mess with the way you drive - it clouds your judgment and slows your reflexes. Don't take any chances. It just isn't worth it.

When you're drunk, you always think you're not. If you even drink at all don't get behind the wheel.

Death by drunken driving is a socially acceptable form of homicide.

Most Americans are like me and drink relatively little, yet we all pay for alcohol-related crashes.

Almost all accidents take place because of human distraction.

Do you know that driving accidents are the number one cause of death for young people?

I'm smart enough to know I shouldn't be behind the wheel.

Anyone who dials a phone while driving is flirting with death. And anyone who texts while driving is insane.

I did so many crazy things while drinking.

Our challenge is to stop people from driving drunk. Punishing them afterwards doesn't bring back the victim or make the family feel better. The idea is to stop the DWI before it happens.

I will never have a sip of alcohol and get behind the wheel again. Regardless if I'm 300% sure that I just had a sip and I can drive. It doesn't matter.