Joke Failure Quotes

I'm hugely negative, so if a joke doesn't land it takes me a long time to get over it. If something doesn't go well I go dark in my head. Basically I start thinking it should be illegal for me to be doing comedy.

I don't think I've ever died on stage. I've had jokes that died on stage. I've told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn't know it was the end of the joke.

Clumsy jesting is no joke.

Another day gone and no jokes.

When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.

Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

I've noticed, as a comedy fan, that I really like Paul Thomas Anderson or Quentin Tarantino because when they're funny, they're actually funny. It's not like when other dramatic writers have comedy, and I'm just like, 'Well, that's not funny. Why are you even trying to make a joke here?'

When anything doesn't hit with a huge laugh, as comics, it feels like, Oh no, oh no, we're sinking.

I'm sorry, but you just made me lose my sense of humor, which is deeply regrettable.

Personally - and I don't mean to brag - my jokes have been falling flat for most of my life.

You never know when you'll have a bad idea for a worse joke.

A boring speech can be just a boring speech. But a speech with a joke that falls flat is awful. I hate it. That's why I think it's easier to hate a comedy. If a drama doesn't land, it's boring; if a joke doesn't land - you hate that.

It's hard for a comic to be joking when your lines can't be funny.