Food Humor Quotes

My favorite animal is steak.

My idea of fast food is a mallard.

I'd like to stand up for the rights of people who put everything on their burger - chutney, mustard, pickle, mustard pickle, tomato sauce... It is common knowledge in my family that I can't tell the difference between a veggie burger and a meat one, because the ratio of burger to pickles is so high.

I chop 'em into salad and my name ain't Caesar.

Julia Child wasn't afraid to have fun. She made fantastic food but knew how to have a good time and not be too stuck up about the kitchen space.

Back in the day, I used to watch 'The Cajun Chef' with Justin Wilson. His mixing would go one way, and his stomach would go the other.

Don't make jokes about food.

Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you! Garfield: Feed me.

I’m not playing the race card. I’m playing the rice card.

Debbie had to get up and slice me a thick piece of cake before she could answer. And I do mean thick. Harry Potter volume seven thick. I could have knocked out a burglar with this piece of cake. Once I tasted it, though, it seemed just the right size.

I grew up in a food-obsessed Italian family, so food was always front and center in my life. I was a food obsessed person who morphed into a comedian and tried to figure out a way to make fun of my cake and eat it too.

I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'

I like to think of bread as really bland cake.

I was at lunch with some friends one day, and we looked down at our table - blond pasta, blond pizza - and then someone joked, 'Blonde salad,' and it stuck.

I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?

Call it crazy, or just chicken salad.

You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times.

I basically love anything that comes in a hot dog bun... except hot dogs.

Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like grits, but with high self-esteem.

It strikes me as one of nature's greatest jokes that the types of food we all like to eat more than anything (especially in winter) are the very things that cause the most insane weight gain - mounds of fluffy mashed potato, hot, thickly buttered toast, huge, steaming bowls of pasta, great big... actually, I'll stop there.

A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.

I learned that on kids' shows, you have to eat a lot of stuff. A lot of the humor comes from food and gross-out humor.