Jim Davis Quotes

Garfield is my spirit animal.

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

The term 'serious actor' is kind of an oxymoron, isn't it? Like 'Republican party' or 'airplane food.'

When I write 'Beetle Bailey,' I can always do jokes about him being lazy, and everyone gets it.

It's hard to go back and be constantly funny.

I'd never been the class clown and comedy was not a fulfilment of a dream.

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.

My comedy is romanticized laziness.

Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.

You just can't take yourself too seriously, especially in comedy.

If you're trying to make something funny, and it doesn't feel like you're always getting something, it doesn't have quite a lot of joy.

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.

I'm naturally inclined to want to be funny and make people laugh, and that's what I want to do with my life. I also want to do it on an intelligent level. I want to kill the clown but I also want to preserve the comedian.

There are lots of things I really like besides girls. Like pizza. And pranking. And CHUCK NORRIS.

I've always liked reading books that contain funny lines or situations, and maybe because my work is known chiefly for its violence and misery, I made a more conscious attempt with The Heavenly Table to do that myself.

Many, affecting wit beyond their power, Have got to be a dear fool for an hour.

What I really want to do is to write a hilarious farce.

When you start to talk about comic books, a lot of the time, people forget about the comic part of it. They need to be funny.

Sometimes I want to go into Saturday Night Live and rewrite some of the sketches because they're really not that good.

For the qualities of sheer wit and humor, Swift had no superior, ancient or modern.

It ought to be an offense to be excruciating and unfunny in circumstances where your audience is almost morally obliged to enthuse.

I gravitate towards anything that has a grain of comedy to it.

I started finding humor in everything. I used to watch a lot of TV, and I finally figured I didn't need to watch TV to find funny stuff. I just watch the commercials. I mean, the commercials just blew my mind.

I am a fan of whatever makes me laugh my ass off. If it happens to be a Jew joke, then it's a Jew joke.