Bo Burnham Quotes

I was very strict on that point. No devouring classmates." Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Other parents warn their kids not to talk to strangers. I had to warn mine not to eat them.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

If you want to produce really horrible, obnoxious kids, say yes to them all the time.

My daughter always behaved in restaurants. And if she didn't, she's going out. I mean, one of the parents is going to take her outside. Immediately.

My dad has never actually grounded me. He always tells my mom to do it. He tells her, "Miley was so bad today, you need to ground her.

Liberal Doctrine: it is not children who misbehave, but parents.

In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.

I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don't have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!

My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.

I have no problem yelling at anybody's kid - free of charge!

People have to see it for what it is, but they would be so shocked to know two simple things that I just really never shared with anyone, but I spank my child at times. He didn't move a muscle, not one inch, and he didn't drop one tear. I tell you that and you are probably like, "Wow, how is that even possible?" But little details like that is not what people are able to see, and that makes the world of difference to the outcome of the situation.

Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some sleep, in which case baby's room should be in Peru.

I know that many people disagree with the way I disciplined my child. I also understand after meeting with a psychologist that there are other alternative ways of disciplining a child that may be more appropriate.

Fatherhood is telling your daughter that Michael Jackson loves all his fans, but has special feelings for the ones who eat broccoli.

At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

I would not let my children act when they are young!

A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he's always apologizing, his children are monsters.

Certainly my parents were Dr. [Benjamin] Spock-driven parents. So they were tolerant.

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

A child may be "spoiled" by a lack of training or by inappropriate love that gives or trains incorrectly.

I like the authentic punk dance you did there. It's like a child dizzy off lemonade