Sloane Crosley Quotes

simon: that's disgusting! me: what's disgusting? simon: you know. you put your thing in the place where he, um, defecates.

If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

Madonna wasn't an acrobat or anything, but the sex was good. I could tell she liked it.

Masturbation is our first and natural form of sexual activity and if that's inhibited or damaged, then we suffer for the rest of our lives.

Unfortunately, I experienced some sexual abuse. It was a known and admitted fact of life amongst us that there was this particular man, and you didn't want to be left in the dressing room with him. It took many years to come to terms with it and to forgive those incidents that I felt had deeply hurt me.

Can't wait to show my girls he sucked the piss out of my pussy.

Whether I pound or am being pounded, all the same there will be moaning!

We weren't doing blow jobs when I was growing up.

My personal feeling is that oral sex is against nature.

Is a BJ adultery? What? Did I miss a day of school? Of course it is! Oral sex is adultery like Curling is an Olympic sport. The only thing is, oral sex should be in the Olympics because it's much harder than Curling, and if you're good at it, you DESERVE a medal!

If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.

for a man of 55 who didn't get laid until he was 23 and not very often until he was 50 I think that I should stay listed via Pacific Telephone until I get as much as the average man has had

... tobacco kills 52,000 people a year from lung cancer, and there's no telling how many lives have been ruined through drinking.But to my knowledge, no one has ever died of a blow job.

Libido, fascination, too much oral defecation. White trash get down on your knees, time for cake and sodomy.

Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy’s lap was already creepy enough. We didn’t need to mix alcohol into it.

I've never written about sex in my diary. Like if you read my diary, you wouldn't think I'm a virgin, but you would have no idea what it is that I've actually ever done.

Drink beer, smoke dope, and eat pussy until your jaw breaks

It was like there was some parallel universe we all vanished off to where we had all this sex.

At Christmas time I sat on Santa's lap. His fly was open ! Boy what a present he gave me !

The greatest scandal of the century in American psychiatry ... is the growing mania among thousands of inept therapists, family counselors, and social workers for arousing false memories of childhoood sexual abuse.

It was with a homosexual, I was barely 14 years old. But let's be fair, I wasn't the only one who did it. He was a man in Bauru that all our team visited.

I would say any type of sexual activity has absolutely no place in the military.

I don't think anyone says "Wow, the best sex I ever had was when I was 16 years old."

I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".

Sex is an extremely subtle undertaking, unlike going to the department store on a Sunday to buy a thermos.