Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

There is alas no law against incompetency; no striking example is made. They learn by our bodily jeopardy and make experiments until the death of the patients, and the doctor is the only person not punished for murder.

Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.

I think we are faced in medicine with the reality that we have to be willing to talk about our failures and think hard about them, even despite the malpractice system. I mean, there are things that we can do to make that system better.

Committing unnecessary surgeries is very, very rare. And it's very wrong.

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Even top caliber hospitals cannot escape medical mistakes that sometimes result in irreparable damage to patients.

I've been victimized by general filthiness on multiple occasions... I received a nasty staph infection... I was told to wait it out... a few days later I literally thought I was going to die... I ended up being on antibiotics for five weeks and, as a result, I had to back out of the fight against Machida.

A great doctor kills more people than a great general.

English doctors have killed 3/4 of my friends & the joke is the remaining 1/4 go on recommending them, so odd is human nature.

This warning from the New York City Department of Health Fraud: Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.

Nothing is more dangerous than a poor doctor: not even a poor employer or a poor landlord.

Adrian, the Emperor, exclaimed incessantly, when dying, "That the crowd of physicians had killed him."

Doctors cut, burn, and torture the sick, and then demand of them an undeserved fee for such services.

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

I told my doctor, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills" and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Every doctor will allow a colleague to decimate a whole countryside sooner than violate the bond of professional etiquette by giving him away.

I'm sure that the liability for doing a tracheotomy would be tremendous. You make one mistake, and it's over. Most doctors won't even do it.

The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!

Most of those evils we poor mortals know From doctors and imagination flow.

No doctor is going to do an abortion on a live fetus. That doesn't happen. Doctors don't do that. If they do, they'll get their license pulled, as well they should.

So modern 'pothecaries, taught the art By doctor's bills to play the doctor's part, Bold in the practice of mistaken rules, Prescribe, apply, and call their masters fools.

I hate doctors! They'll do anything... to keep you coming to them. They'll sell their souls. What's worse, they'll sell yours, and you never know it till one day you find yourself in hell.

(Doctors) collectively have done more to block adequate medical care for people of this country than any other single group.

I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

If you are that person, you are more likely to believe that God cured you, this invisible force, creator of the universe, cured you, than that you had three idiotic doctors diagnose you. ... I taught physics to pre-med students who became doctors. Not all of them are smart, I assure you.