Lewis Black Quotes

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

There can be no possible question that cold is felt much more keenly in the thin air of nineteen thousand feet than it is below.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

My favorite lie was the online rumor that Bruce Willis was my uncle. That's hilarious.

I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more.

Recruiters in our country are known for lying to people.

I try to tell one lie in every interview. It keeps people I know amused when they read the article.

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.

I don't think I'm an intentional liar, but I'm a little bit of an exaggerator sometimes. If I'm exaggerating, and the journalist exaggerates on top of that, then we end up in funny territory.

Apparently, I am a bit of an exaggerator when I tell stories. But I don't call them lies; I say they are better, funnier truths.

Advertising is legalized lying.

I had heard before that there were rumors I was gay. It's funny. My cousin gets his hair cut at this place, and one of the guys there told him that Scott Wolf was gay. He didn't realize that he was my cousin.

People say that it’s easy to lie with statistics. Well it’s a lot easier to lie without them.

There has been a culture of misinformation among the intelligence leadership.

The funny response to 'One Mississippi' continues to be that people don't know what is true and what's fiction.

I have heard that my Wikipedia entry is completely incorrect, but then again, so is everyone else's. I haven't bothered about that.

Some people just want to make up the funny things and play pretend.

You can't close your eyes to the lies perpetrated by dangerous fools / 'cos they're handing out rules

The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.

The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not in fact repeat their lies.

With respect to the situation in Al-Faw, the British told big lies. In Al-Faw, our forces' positions remained in place.

Half-truths can be as deceptive as outright lies.

She knows that whispers can be useful. Sometimes they contain real information. But usually they're fairy tales and lies. This is the worst kind of whisper, the kind that draws you in, gives you hope.

A lie has no legs, and cannot stand; but it has wings, and can fly far and wide.