Rita Rudner Quotes

Men who retain irony are not to be trusted. They can't always resist an impulse to tickle themselves.

It is in the ability to deceive oneself that the greatest talent is shown.

The false man is more false to himself than to any one else. He may despoil others, but himself is the chief loser. The world's scorn he might sometimes forget, but the knowledge of his own perfidy is undying.

Those who are overreached by our cunning are far from appearing to us as ridiculous as we appear to ourselves when the cunning of others has overreached us.

Well, you can't trust most people in this game, period; it can be a very shady business.

In Hollywood people lie to each other and cheat each other and then go and play tennis. But I don't want to be a tennis player.

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

Bad faith likes discourse on friendship and loyalty.

He who knows how to flatter also knows how to slander.

Politics is when you say you are going to do one thing while intending to do another. Then you do neither what you said nor what you intended.

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.

Let no such man be trusted.

Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn.

There's good and bad everywhere in any aspect in life. The only people who we can't really trust are politicians. Because those guys lie to everybody and constantly.

There's an old saying amongst players in football talking about your general manger and coaches, they speak with a forked tongue.

Anyone who'd sell out a whole town wouldn't hesitate to double-cross one man.

Gradually I came to realize that people will more readily swallow lies than truth, as if the taste of lies was homey, appetizing: a habit.

He warns the heads of parties against believing their own lies

It is not wise to trust a man with a deceitful speech ... for he will definitely manipulate your sayings and give a different meaning to your saying and decisions, for he would not care to keep the truth intact

One to mislead the public, another to mislead the Cabinet, and the third to mislead itself.

There can scarcely be a more difficult thing than to play a double game. It is dangerous, and it is at times, a nice point to draw the distinction between such a game and dishonor.

The man who cannot laugh is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils, but his whole life is already a treason and a stratagem.

Your case for war was a pack of lies.

'Tis very strange Men should be so fond of being thought wickeder than they are.

[Allen Dulles] was not above misleading Congress or his colleagues or even his commander in chief.