Ike Barinholtz Quotes

Well it's hard to remember who, but I drunk dial a lot.

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."

It was too much Tequila, or not quite enough.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

You come home, and you party. But after that, you get a hangover. Everything about that is negative.

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.

Some people never learn, no matter how much their heads hurt in the morning.

Note to self on waking. Lay off the beer on an empty stomach. This dream is even more screwed up than the time I had a donkey and a corkscrew. (Aiden) Donkey and a corkscrew? (Leta) I don’t know you well enough to fill you in on those details. (Aiden)

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.

Wine maketh the band quivering, the eye watery, the night unquiet, lewd dreams, a stinking breath in the morning, and an utter forgetfulness of all things.

I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said.

Macduff: What three things does drink especially provoke? Porter: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.

I was somewhat drunk with what I had done. And I am always one to prefer being sober.

There are two kinds of hangover: in one you feel ill and incapable, in the other you feel ill and lucid.

Sometimes when you get hammered till the small hours you feel pretty good in the morning, but really it's just because you're still a bit drunk. That old hangover is just toying with you, working out when to bite.

Nora: "How do you feel?" Nick: "Terrible. I must've gone to bed sober.

That is the remarkable thing about drinking: it brings people together so quickly, but between night and morning it sets an interval again of years.

I'm not very good at staying up late and drinking or any of that stuff. It sort of freaks me out.

I used to be jack the lad, I was out a lot, I was mainly waking up with hangovers at tournaments rather than preparing.

I like getting blotto at parties but I also like being sober and I hate the hangover.

Sometimes the hangover provides inspiration.

God,” I moaned. “Do they use that stuff as rocket fuel?” “No one made you keep drinking it.” “Hey, don’t get preachy. Besides, I had to be polite.” “Sure,” she said.

As always after drinking too much, I felt like my own ghost trying to take it's first solo walk outside the body.