Jackie Mason Quotes

I wouldn't want to be President now!

The presidency is worse than being in jail.

My fellow citizens, the American Presidency is not supposed to be a journey of personal discovery.

Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows.

The presidency has made every man who occupied it, no matter how small, bigger than he was; and no matter how big, not big enough for its demands.

The President is always abused. If he isn't, he isn't doing anything.

The Presidency, even to the most experienced politicians, is no bed of roses; and Gen. Taylor like others, found thorns within it. No human being can fill that station and escape censure.

I need this job [Speaker of the House] like a hole in the head.

There are just some things about being president that are difficult.

Hillary Clinton, because she's the Democrats' presumptive 2016 front-runner, has become the target du jour. Frankly, I don't know how public figures get through it.

Being President is like the man who was tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail... A man in the crowd asked how he liked it, and his reply was that if it wasn't for the honor of the thing, he would much rather walk.

The closer you get to Number 10 the more you see what a back-breaking job that is, the pressure is absolutely constant and the loss of privacy is almost complete so I don't have ambitions in that direction and there is no vacancy nor likely to be during my time in politics.

The house I've bought in London, the holidays, everything has been bought from making people laugh, and if you'd said to me when I was 14 that's how I was going to make my living, I would have smiled from ear to ear.

As NBA coach, people get on you. But politics, maybe even more so at the local level, is nasty on a very personal level. I have a thick skin, but I don't want to deal with it.

[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].

Ok so there's no TV shows, no movies going on fine, but I love going on stage and performing stand up so my situation is a little better than someone who's strictly just an actor or actress.

To execute laws is a royal office; to execute orders is not to be a king. However, a political executive magistracy, though merely such, is a great trust.

The president cannot escape from his office.

I faced a lot of criticism as president. I didn't like hearing people claim that I lied about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction or cut taxes to benefit the rich. But the suggestion that I was racist because of the response to Katrina represented an all-time low.

I asked that I not be considered for vice president of the United States.

I respect people who are willing to deal with everything that comes with being a politician, but I'm not willing to deal with half the country rooting for you to fail. I'm a singer; I deal with enough. But at least half the country's not trying to destroy me.

My major focus is national security because that's really what the president runs.

When you're a comic, it's like being born gay. It's what you want to do every night when your other friends are out at night going to parties.

It's easy being vice president - you don't have to do anything.