John Prine Quotes

I guess what I always found funny was the human condition. There is a certain comedy and pathos to trouble and accidents. Like, when a driver has parked his car crookedly and then wonders why he has the bad luck of being hit.

I keep waiting, like in the cartoons, for an anvil to drop on my head.

I feel like trouble has followed me from the day I was born.

What is the distinction between "misfortune" and "calamity"? If Mr. Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune; but if someone pulled him out, it would be a calamity.

I was definitely born under an evil star. I have just been thrown out of the inn where I was staying, naked as a worm.

Some people think I have a death wish. I don't have one. I just make mistakes. Bad things happen to good people.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed.

I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought iron pineapple and a cork-shaped bruise in my cleavage.

Losing one's mother to a car crash at age four isn't a readily accessible idea of good luck, but I've come to accept it as the condition that was required for my luck to fall into place.

I always like stories where the egg ends up on my face.

Misfortune was my god.

Sometimes bad luck hits you like in an ancient Greek tragedy, and it's not your own making. When you have a plane crash, it's not your fault.

There are days where you do everything right and nothing goes in your favour.

If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.

That was my pride and joy - that I made it through all those years of minor hockey without losing any of my teeth; then, I ended up losing them in a car accident in New York when I was riding in a taxi. So, I end up losing my teeth, but not in the glamorous fashion I envisioned.

Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Murphy's First Corollary If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

If I had a nickel for every time I said 'Why me?' I'd have probably said 'Why me?' more often.

I've just had some bad luck. I've had every injury known to man. I understand how people think, 'How can this be happening all the time to Gerry Cooney?' But it did.

There's nothing more annoying than losing your phone, but this happened to me not once or twice, but three times in a row!

Wherever I go, I'm followed by trouble.

Obviously, when you drop a ball early in the game, it could be worse. You can go on to drop many more balls or stuff like that.

Well, I would throw myself under the nearest bus, but considering my luck today, I’m sure it would break down less than a millimeter from me and just ruin my clothes…Probably break my watch, too. (Taryn)

Imprudence gets us into more trouble than actual misdeeds do.

[On being told party guests were ducking for apples:] There, but for a typographical error, is the story of my life.