Misadventure Quotes

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.

Our bravest and best lessons are not learned through success, but through misadventure.

No matter where you're going it's the wrong place.

I spent a day in a neck brace on a hospital trolley after falling from a horse and cart in Ireland. All the nurses thought I was a traveler, which made me laugh. Who else comes into a hospital saying they've fallen off a horse and cart?

I've spiked a toilet seat before, a gallon of milk, even eggs. If you say it, I've probably spiked it before.

It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.

[On being told party guests were ducking for apples:] There, but for a typographical error, is the story of my life.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.

Sure, I've been on the Tube...I caught it to Eastbourne once.

When I was seven and we lived in New York, I ran away. I took my dog and started out across the Brooklyn Bridge... I didn't get very far... It's rather difficult to run away in your mother's high heels.

I wouldn't like to be invisible for a day. But if I was... I'd probably be up to no good.

Trouble seems to follow me around, waiting to club me with a tire iron.

If everything goes right, we get a good experience. If everything goes wrong, we get a good story.

If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

I was definitely born under an evil star. I have just been thrown out of the inn where I was staying, naked as a worm.

I was shipwrecked before I got aboard.

If I could do it all over again, I would have never gone to Russia.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

I mean, it [Southern Comfort] is basically a story about the folly of our misadventure into that war, done in the context of these National Guard weekend warriors who wander into a world about which they know nothing and then wind up wreaking havoc on themselves.

'Home Alone' was a movie, not an alibi.

Comedy comes out of everyone's worst day. No one writes a sitcom episode about everyone having a good day. It's always about someone being locked out of their house or someone being dumped or whatever.

'Hold Me' was a nightmare! It was the middle of the desert in Palm Springs, in the height of summer. I don't know what possessed us to do that. But we sometimes do crazy things.

I haven't had too many tragedies in my family where there has been a loss or even an accident. I've been lucky in that sense.

I jumped off a platform, was supposed to land on a roof and slide down it, but I cleared the roof and landed on my ankle - snapped that to one side.