Tony Lema Quotes

The putter looks like a bunch of nuts and bolts welded together, but the ball goes in the hole.

A bad putter is like a bad apple in a barrel. First, it turns your chipping game sour. Then it begins to eat into your irons and finally it just cleans the head off your driver.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

If golf wasn't enjoyable and there wasn't a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

You can't pick up a golf club if your thumb hurts.

Putting isn't golf, greens should be treated almost the same as water hazards: you land on them, then add two strokes to your score.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

In golf, driving is a game of free-swinging muscle control, while putting is something like performing eye surgery and using a bread knife for a scalpel.

I realize that's why we play golf, to hit the ball into the hole. But it is a strange feeling when you hit the shot and it actually goes in.

The woods are full of long drivers.

I've not given up hope the belly-putter will be banned. The R and A and the USGA are looking at it right now.

Short putts are missed because it is not physically possible to make the little ball travel over uncertain ground for three or four feet with any degree of regularity.

I've gotten rid of the yips four times but they hang in there. You know those two-foot downhill putts with a break? I'd rather see a rattlesnake.

[On golf:] One of the most distressing defects of civilization.

All golfers fear the one-iron. It has no angle, no loft. The one-iron is a confidence-crusher, a fear trip, an almost guarantee of shame, failure, dumbness and humiliation if you ever use it in public.

Golf is the Great Mystery. Like some capricous goddess, it bestows its favours with what would appear an almost fat-headed lack of method and discrimination. On every side we see big two-fisted he-men floundering round in three figures, stopping every few minutes to let through little shrimps with knock-knees and hollow cheeks, who are tearing up snappy seventy-fours.

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

A good putter is a match for anyone. A bad putter is a match for no one.

The great players have a set of golf clubs in their feet

I've studied golf for almost 50 years now and know a hell of a lot about nothing.

The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all.

Golf is a game of coordination, rhythm, and grace; women have these to a high degree.

I'm searching for the perfect swing. I'm searching for something that's not there. I tried twetny different things today and nobody else out there would have done that. This game is too tough. If I'd have known, I'd have taken up tennis or something. I have a chance. But if you're a betting guy don't bet on me.