Golf Frustration Quotes

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

I think most amateurs dread playing a 180-plus-yard par 3 even more than a hard par 4. Part of it is psychological: You think you should be getting a breather, distance-wise, and instead, you get hit with a long iron or hybrid shot over trouble.

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Golf is the Great Mystery. Like some capricous goddess, it bestows its favours with what would appear an almost fat-headed lack of method and discrimination. On every side we see big two-fisted he-men floundering round in three figures, stopping every few minutes to let through little shrimps with knock-knees and hollow cheeks, who are tearing up snappy seventy-fours.

I've really got no complaints about the way I played, just extremely frustrating with the putter and I'm sure there's a lot of other players saying the same thing except the guy who's going to win the golf tournament.

Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

Driver has always been fine, and the rest of the clubs have been fine. It's just for some reason, the 3-wood... that's just one of those clubs.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

I've never played golf with Tiger Woods. To tell the truth, I'm not sure that watching him pound it 100 yards past me all day is something I'd like to do.

A bad putter is like a bad apple in a barrel. First, it turns your chipping game sour. Then it begins to eat into your irons and finally it just cleans the head off your driver.

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.

Golf tip: Lay off for three weeks and then quit for good.

The less said about the putter the better. Here is an instrument of torture, designed by Tantalus and forged in the devil's own smithy.

I've been playing golf for a little while and I can't get over the 85 hump. It doesn't matter how good or bad I shoot on one side, I'm going to end up around 85.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Because golf exposes the flaws of the human swing - a basically simple maneuver - it causes more self-torture than any game short of Russian roulette.

Men capable of governing empires fail to control a small white ball, which presents no difficulties whetever to others with one ounce more brain than a cuckoo clock. I wish to goodness I knew the man who invented this infernal game. I'd strangle him. But I suppose he's been dead for ages. Still, I could go and jump on his grave.

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

Jesus Christ can't hit a golf ball straight. It's virtually impossible - at best it's an accident.

Sometimes pars are hard.

Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around.

If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

Golf is supposed to be fun, but I don't think anything is fun if you're not doing it reasonably well.

Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.

The man who runs from his office to the golf club, gulps a sandwich, belches and races to the first tee has no business howling in anguish when he puts his first two shots in the woods, then tops a 3-iron shot into the pond.