Mitch Hedberg Quotes

Humor is reason gone mad.

Through humour, we see in what seems rational, the irrational; in what seems important, the unimportant

You're a wizard," I snapped. "Can't you just use magic to make your own food?" "Ah, yes," he retorted. "Because mud pies are so very delicious and the wind fills empty stomachs quite nicely.

Our own peculiar human condition is that we are as fit to be laughed at as able to laugh.

Fifteen birds in five firtrees, their feathers were fanned in a fiery breeze! But, funny little birds, they had no wings! O what shall we do with the funny little things? Roast 'em alive, or stew them in a pot; fry them, boil them and eat them hot?

Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all.

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.

In a way, both the U.S. media and those wacky rioters in the Afghan-Pakistani hinterlands are very similar, two highly parochial and monumentally self-absorbed tribes living in isolation from the rest of the world and prone to fanatical irrational indestructible beliefs — not least the notion that you can flush a 950-page book down one of Al Gore's eco-crazed federally mandated low-flush toilets, a claim no editorial bigfoot thought to test for himself in Newsweek's executive washroom.

To be looked upon as a fool by an idiot is a true connoisseur's delight.

It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense

Perfect nonsense goes on in the world. Sometimes there is no plausibility at all

Even if one understands that what one is doing is mad, it is indeed still madness -

I like both slapstick and contradiction. Like philosophers.

Resisting madness is the maddest way of being mad.

"Would you like to see the menu?" he said. "Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?" [...] "Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body?"

We no longer believe because it is absurd: it is absurd because we must believe.

The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor.

The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.

America is such a paradoxical society, hypocritically paradoxical, that if you don't have some humor, you'll crack up.

There is no explaining anything by reasoning and so it is useless to reason.

Reasoning is the pastime of my whole household, and all this reasoning has driven out Reason.

He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

My other car is a vehicle with a bumper sticker describing this car.

If you had chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other?