Dan Jenkins Quotes

I think marriage and athletes is a bad combination.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married.

The Amateur Marriage grew out of the reflection that of all the opportunities to show differences in character, surely an unhappy marriage must be the richest.

It is now well known, however, that men enter local politics solely as a result of being unhappily married.

Relations between the sexes are so complicated that the only way you can tell if members of the set are going together is if they are married. Then, almost certainly, they are not.

Alma: I rather suspect her of being in love with him. Martin: Her own husband? Monstrous! What a selfish woman!

Marriage remains the most efficient engine of disenchantment yet invented.

I suppose I get a lot of questions about Tiger. But Tiger Woods is a tremendous talent. He plays well. He has a great work ethic. He's probably as talented of a golfer as anyone who's ever played.

I've been married fifty-five years and I've been home three weeks.

A Roman divorced from his wife, being highly blamed by his friends, who demanded, "Was she not chaste? Was she not fair? Was she not fruitful?" holding out his shoe, asked them whether it was not new and well made. "Yet," added he, "none of you can tell where it pinches me.''

Phil [Mickelson] has done a great job. He's a great player and he's conducted himself very well through the years. He's been a good ambassador for the game. He hasn't won in a while, but he still has time, and it wouldn't surprise me if he won again.

If you're going to marry someone, maybe you can be mad for a few weeks and it can still work out.

For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.

You can't do sweatpants... ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!

I am his awfully-wedded wife.

If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.

Sex role training becomes divorce training.

I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

I have suffered two grave accidents in my life, one in which a streetcar knocked me down... The other accident is Diego.

Show me one couple unhappy merely on account of their limited circumstances, and I will show you ten who are wretched from other causes.