Anne Meara Quotes

I was on stage with Cyndi Lauper, and my trousers split. It seemed like she was going to sing for ever.

I don't really get embarrassed a lot because I feel like life goes on. I mean, I fell on stage one time; like, I tripped one time. My voice cracked... That's pretty embarrassing.

Last time I blushed was when I smoothed my hands over the back of my dress and actually touched skin. Seems the material was tucked into my underwear, and everyone around me had gotten a show. This, of course, was at a romance writers' conference.

Time and time again, as a boy, I was humiliated. I celebrated my first day in long pants by going to a dance where I fell sprawling on the floor, and was so ashamed that I jumped up, ran away and left my girl to get home the best way she could.

I had to make squirrel noises as Bubbles and without realizing it, I was making the face and putting my fingers up to my face to look like a squirrel and everyone made fun of me for the rest of the day.

The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles, but I had on thick tights underneath.

Every day, I have a most embarrassing moment.

I broke my nose in gym when a ball hit me. I took a girl to her debutante ball the next week wearing a tux and a big, honking bandage. Not the romantic night she had in mind.

Me and Noel went to HBO once and pitched this really ludicrous idea about us driving around in a haunted car, and they just stared at us. Literally stared at us! It was awful. Luckily, we were together, so we could laugh about it, but if we were on our own, it would have been one of the worst moments ever.

In my senior year of high school, I was doing a dance with a bunch of friends for the talent show, and my pants split entirely in half. It was incredible.

My day goes from one embarrassing moment to the next.

I accidentally entered a youth pageant when I was 14. That's like a beauty pageant, but without the beauty. It was terrible.

I've danced one time in my life. It was the most mortifying experience I ever had.

During my school days, I was doing a play, and my costume fell on the stage. I really wish it didn't happen.

It was like a classic thing with Emma. So I walked in and I slammed the door and everything fell off the wall on the set. It was my second or third scene and I was so embarrassed and scared and so nervous about what everyone would say, but everyone just packed up laughing.

But, you know, it's still a drag to get your picture taken when you're eating a sandwich. It's a downer.

I haven't had to do too many, or many explicit ones. Everybody feels weird, and everybody is trying to tiptoe around and make you think they're not there. The last time I did a love scene, I couldn't keep a straight face.

My worst memory is of my first dance lesson as a 14-year old in Prague. My mother put me in this silver and pink lame dress. My hair was all curled, and it was the first time I wore a garter belt. I felt so out of place!

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

If something can be said to make an awkward moment even worse, I'm going to say it.

When I was 13, I was in my tent at Girl Scout camp, trying to change out of my bathing suit and talking at the same time. I fell out of the tent in front of everyone with my bathing suit around my ankles. I was humiliated - but no amount of humiliation has ever seemed to stop me.

Your mother embarrasses you in front of maybe a couple hundred people. My mother embarrasses me in front of millions.

My first go at drinking did not go so well. I ended up getting sick in front of everybody. You know that Ginuwine song 'Pony'? It was playing at the party while I was getting sick. My entire senior year, everyone sang that around me. For a year. I would like that erased from my memory.

Sean Spicer gives press briefings like someone is going through his browser history while he watches.

When you're talking about a really horrible personal thing that happened to you... and it doesn't get laughs... I feel really exposed and like I've overshared with some strangers.