Michael McIntyre Quotes

I think one of the most humiliating moments of my life was putting on spandex, personally. It's always nice when four women pull you into spandex when you're in jockey shorts. Yeah.

Last time I blushed was when I smoothed my hands over the back of my dress and actually touched skin. Seems the material was tucked into my underwear, and everyone around me had gotten a show. This, of course, was at a romance writers' conference.

Getting booed off, definitely not the best feeling.

One of my least favorite things is having my full name called out at the pharmacy. I always try to cut them off before they can say 'Spielberg.'

The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles, but I had on thick tights underneath.

It was dripping and, you know, and there was a whole line of cameras and microphones. I felt like - you remember the honor guards, only it was a dishonor guard.

I accidentally entered a youth pageant when I was 14. That's like a beauty pageant, but without the beauty. It was terrible.

But, you know, it's still a drag to get your picture taken when you're eating a sandwich. It's a downer.

I abhor nothing more than bumping into someone I know on the Tube.

I never want to be seen in my boxer shorts ever again.

When I was in middle school, some of my so-called friends found a catalogue ad I did for Superman pajamas. They made as many copies as they could and pasted them up all over school.

Time and time again, as a boy, I was humiliated. I celebrated my first day in long pants by going to a dance where I fell sprawling on the floor, and was so ashamed that I jumped up, ran away and left my girl to get home the best way she could.

It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.

I had to make squirrel noises as Bubbles and without realizing it, I was making the face and putting my fingers up to my face to look like a squirrel and everyone made fun of me for the rest of the day.

One time I laughed so hard, I just had to go and change my pantyhose. I lost it. Lost it. At least it wasn't onstage.

When I was in middle school, some of my so-called friends found a catalog ad I did for Superman pajamas. They made as many copies as they could and pasted them up all over school.

Your mother embarrasses you in front of maybe a couple hundred people. My mother embarrasses me in front of millions.

My first go at drinking did not go so well. I ended up getting sick in front of everybody. You know that Ginuwine song 'Pony'? It was playing at the party while I was getting sick. My entire senior year, everyone sang that around me. For a year. I would like that erased from my memory.

My first experience on public radio still ranks among the most embarrassing episodes of my relatively short life.

When I've mentioned my screen wife is Helen Baxendale, so many people have burst out laughing. My self-esteem has been crushed by it.

I don't really get embarrassed a lot because I feel like life goes on. I mean, I fell on stage one time; like, I tripped one time. My voice cracked... That's pretty embarrassing.

My weave fell off. I was running in PE, and it got caught in a tree. People were looking at me funny.

Sometimes, I think 'The Spectator' is calculated to embarrass me.

I have my own difficulty with movies in which the suffering of the characters is too real, and many find it difficult to watch comedies that rely too heavily on embarrassment; the vicarious reaction to this is too unpleasant.