Johnny Vegas Quotes

For some reason, people look at me and laugh. I don't know why.

When I've mentioned my screen wife is Helen Baxendale, so many people have burst out laughing. My self-esteem has been crushed by it.

But, you know, it's still a drag to get your picture taken when you're eating a sandwich. It's a downer.

Time and time again, as a boy, I was humiliated. I celebrated my first day in long pants by going to a dance where I fell sprawling on the floor, and was so ashamed that I jumped up, ran away and left my girl to get home the best way she could.

I had to make squirrel noises as Bubbles and without realizing it, I was making the face and putting my fingers up to my face to look like a squirrel and everyone made fun of me for the rest of the day.

When you're talking about a really horrible personal thing that happened to you... and it doesn't get laughs... I feel really exposed and like I've overshared with some strangers.

I was the dude you didn't wanna go to school with, because I would come to school and get on your shoes. If you had a hole in your pants, I'd talk about it all day long. If your hair was messed up, if you had buck teeth, I'd talk about it all day long. And I made people laugh doing it, but it wasn't like I thought I was a comedian.

I don't really get embarrassed a lot because I feel like life goes on. I mean, I fell on stage one time; like, I tripped one time. My voice cracked... That's pretty embarrassing.

Sometimes, I think 'The Spectator' is calculated to embarrass me.

The fear of being laughed at makes cowards of us all.

The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles, but I had on thick tights underneath.

I put my foot in my mouth every time I'm interviewed.

I started Pilates. I'm the only guy in there. They plot before I get there: 'How can we make John look ridiculous?' Because every exercise involved my legs up, like I'm in the stirrups or something.

My day goes from one embarrassing moment to the next.

I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into.

It's embarrassing to tell you how much my friends make fun of me. Seriously, when you have a doll made of your face, it's ridiculous how creative your friends can get... pictures, videos, little animated cartoons that they've made.

I accidentally entered a youth pageant when I was 14. That's like a beauty pageant, but without the beauty. It was terrible.

My films are about embarrassment.

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren't completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow's embarrassment?

I was really enjoying one of the screenings of 'Beautiful Creatures' and there was this little 14-year-old boy sitting next to me in the screening and I was laughing at all the jokes and I just felt really judged. I had to keep it down a bit. It's a bit embarrassing.

I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.

People laugh at me. Sometimes I know why, and sometimes I don't.

It's difficult to feel that people are looking at you in the street. I don't like the fuss.

In my gym class, we had something called The Pit, this little alcove where we had to sit if we forgot our gym clothes. It was usually just the crippled kid, the pregnant girl, and me. It was pretty awkward, just hanging with all these freaks who didn't want to show their legs.

He who is ashamed would like to force the world not to look at him, not to notice his exposure. He would like to destroy the eyes of the world.