Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Most people have kind of done something that could put them in jail at least for one night.

Many would say the reason why they steal is because they want to have an arsenal for future political exploits. It is a lie. It is greed. In any case, even if you want to do that, you have no right to do it.

I'm as wicked as Hitler's first born, cause of me, lot of old ladies purses gone.

I suppose I shall have to compound a felony as usual.

What do you want me to do, rob a bank?

Pickpockets either work alone or in pairs, or what is called a mob.

People love gentle larceny.

It is needless to say that women make the most patient as well as the most dangerous pickpockets.

The last thing I stole was a box of Coca Cola from a parked truck in Adelaide. I was nice and drunk. It was New Year's Eve. And that was about 28 years ago.

Me and my partners had been stealing cars for a while.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

It’s indisputable that people use libraries to commit crimes because they think they can conceal their identity.

An egg thief becomes a camel thief.

I didn't sit outside the bank and plan. I just went in and ad libbed because I was so young. But I was smart enough to know I would absolutely get caught.

The first time I got locked up, I was in Walmart stealing BB guns.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

You know," Shane said twenty minutes later, "I'd feel a whole lot better about the two of us if you didn't think I was the go-to guy for breaking and entering.

Nobody ever commits a crime without doing something stupid.

Get your pockets dug from all your chemical bank ends caught him at the red light - on Putman Avenue and Franklin

I once knew a man who stole a Ferris Wheel.

Crime, once exposed, has no refuge but in audacity.

A casino in South Dakota was robbed by a man dressed as a mummy. The police described the suspect as anywhere between 25 and 8,000 years old.

How'd you get in here?" She raised her eyebrows. “You pick pockets.” Kat watched his hand fly to his back pocket. “I can pick locks. Looking for this?” she asked, holding up his wallet. “Oops. Maybe I can pick pockets too.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."