Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Let's face it, when is it actually ever funny to joke about hitting someone? Never, right? The threat to give someone a slap, no matter how you look at it, is aggressive.

A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'.

One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.

When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross.

What do you do with all this bank, Josie? Be a lot easier if you just lifted your skirt.” “The only reason I’d lift my skirt is to pull out my pistol and plug you in the head.

When a man holds you round the throat, I don't think he has come to apologise.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

I'm the terrorist, do what I say or I'll terrorize you.

My friend told me I went over to this guy and he pulled a knife.

Violence is not funny.

We see violence to forcibly seize land, at any price, murders and corruption.

He hit me 18 times while I was in the act of falling.

… a blackmailer and psychopath.

The purpose of terrorism is to terrorize.

Terrorize your enemy!

Terror works by surprise.

Give me a dollar or I'll spit on you.

His dagger was out, poised at her throat. “Sing, little bird. Sing for your little life.

I'm going to take off your gag.And if you try to bite me or grab me or anything, I'll hit you with this thing as hard as I can as many times as I can. Understood?"- Tana to Gavriel, page 20 chapter 3

I'm gonna kick your teeth so far down your throat you'll be able to chew your own ass out for pissin' me off.

Shut up... or I'll kill you.

Do not listen to her," Alaric said. "She is going to tell you in some kind of code only the two of you will understand, because you are siblings, to call the police on your cell phone. But if you do that, I will kill you and dispose of your body in a place where no one will find it. The river, I think. Your doorman is so stupid, he won't notice if I leave this building carrying a body in a rolled-up carpet.