Anthony Jeselnik Quotes

I'm a big fan of shock value humour and I find myself being most comfortable when I make other people uncomfortable. Is that sick of me? I really like it.

Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some guys can say the most horrible things and it's not offensive, it's funny?

I'm not the voice of reason; I'm more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

They're pretty extreme, but I loved the two 'Human Centipede' films from Tom Six. Those movies are fun because they're well-made. They're crazy and psychotic and perverted and twisted, but they're really well-made.

I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me.

I love dark humor that crosses the line and makes you say, 'That's so wrong!' And that's 'Family Guy' to me.

When you buy my books, you kind of know what you're in for. It's kind of self-selecting. If you have a delicate sensibility, and you're easily grossed out, you probably will never read one of my books.

Everybody in my family had a real sick, twisted sense of humor. Most of the jokes we make in our house, we would just never even dream of making anywhere else. Just sick, horrible stuff. That wasn't anything new to college.

I love John Waters. There's stuff in it that's beyond the boundaries of my taste, but his movies have always been like that.

I have a theory, which is that the idea of a roast is to go to this forbidden, uncomfortable, almost performance-art-level shock place, but because we're so regularly shocked and offended today, the idea of an hour and a half of unbridled negativity is just so unappealing.

It's absolutely amazing to me that anyone allowed their children to watch 'The Ren & Stimpy Show' in the '90s; it's dark, gross, nihilistic, and absolutely bizarre.

It bothers me when people say 'shock comic' or 'gross-out' because that was only one type of comedy I did. There was prank comedy. Man-on-the-street-reaction comedy. Visually surreal comedy. But you do something shocking, and that becomes your label.

There are many that I will not post. I'm not trying to show a blatant death. I'm trying to show something funny that, every now and then, pushes the envelope a little bit.

I love saying terrible things. Things that I think are terrible and I've gotten in to trouble in the past - just hearing it come out of my mouth or seeing it typed and seeing it out there - something terrible that in real life isn't funny.

I always had a wicked streak in me, the sadist side in me also comes in my comedy films.

It's never a matter ever, ever - are - we're never trying to gross anybody out, or ever are we trying to shock people. We're just trying to make it funny in a way that makes the audience go, 'You know, that was the first joke they thought of, and they weren't afraid to do it.'

You name any horrific thing, and I can make a joke out of it.

One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed themselves, or making a joke about some horrible tragedy - I love being able to fight for and get on TV. I just think it's so different.

Sharon Needles. Did I meet you at the free clinic?

In my first stand-up acts there wasn't material even. You know, I'd go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd - and it's what interested me as a comedian.

I'm always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something's dark, I'll do it. If it's a sock puppet, if it's a stool, I'll do it.

Ok first things first I'll eat your brains Then Imma start rockin gold teeth & fangs

You cannot hurt animals, so what do I do? I kill the dog first. Then I do it with the boy. You're not supposed to break the illusion of this being a film, so I make the actor talk to the audience. Provocation is the principle of the whole film [ Funny Games]. It is very ironic.

Did they find something wanting in you, Gemma, at the party? You didn’t speak too freely or behave…strangely?” I grew claws and bayed at the moon. I confessed that I eat the hearts of small children. I told them I like the French.