Dennis Miller Quotes

I really think that sex always looks kind of funny in a movie.

You've got to have a sense of humour about sex. When you look at it, it's all pretty ridiculous, isn't it?

I think Secretary's funny, it is about sex, and there's a lot of sex in it, sex is the key, but you're talking about a lot of other complicated things.

I love to write. I love it. I mean there's nothin in the world I like better, and that includes sex, probably because I'm so very bad at it.

I think that every sexual position is fundamentally comic.

There is something about sex that always brings out the funny in me. I think it's because we make such fools of ourselves over it.

Making eye contact during rough sex is roughly the equivalent of trying to read Dostoyevsky on a rollercoaster.

Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.

Jewish women are very exciting, as exciting sexually as any other group. Even so, my advice to a young man marrying a Jewish girl would be to have three and a half years of foreplay. Of course, most girls in every group are reserved about getting down to it. They don't usually do it right away. But once they do it, women are bananas. They don't wanna do it, you can't make them do it, there's no way they'll do it - but once they do it, they don't let you alone.

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.

Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?

I don't try to hide sex in my music. Music is very sexual. I don't hide it.

Sam laughed, a funny, self-deprecating laugh. "You did read a lot. And spent too much time just inside the kitchen window, where I couldn't see you very well." "And not enough time mostly naked in front of my bedroom window?" I teased. Sam turned bright red. "That," he said, "is so not the point of this conversation.

Take it off, baby, take it all off. I want you the way you came into the world.

I've been married for 17 years and you know how the actors say, "It's really technical. Those scenes are not sexy. They're just so technical. It's like work." And I'm like, "That's bullshit."

The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.

Playing acoustic guitar is like having sex with your clothes on. I mean you know how to do it, but it’s more difficult.

I laughed, loud enough that Delia looked up at me. She made motions for me to come over, but I pretended to be looking past her into the food tent. "Hurry. Pretend you're pointing something out so I can pretend not to see her." Luke put a hand on my shoulder and pointed with the other towards the sky. "Look, the moon." "That was the best you could come up with?" I demanded.

I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

A really hard laugh is like sex-one of the ultimate diversions of existence.

I never understood why anyone would have sex on the floor. Until I was with you and I realized: you don't realize you're on the floor.

People don't want to see me having sex... I'm the queen of the 'kiss, foreplay, dissolve.' And then the 'Whoo! Good morning, tiger.

Next to sex my favorite thing is laughing - it's part of sex. Make me laugh - I'll love you.