Jimmy Carr Quotes

If something awkward happens, laugh. I don't think I've ever dated a guy who couldn't laugh - even in bed, during intimate times.

I don't lie to you," Alan said. "I lie WITH you." Sin stopped looking up at him from under her eyelashes and burst out laughing. Alan went red. "So I've just realized how that come out. Uh.

I tried phone sex - it gave me an ear infection.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

You've got to have a sense of humour about sex. When you look at it, it's all pretty ridiculous, isn't it?

Here's a trick to giving the birds-and-bees talk: You gotta do it in a car, so they can't escape. That's what all my girlfriends' parents did.

Most men cannot write good sex. I tried one time years ago and showed it to my wife, and she felt like laughing.

There is something about sex that always brings out the funny in me. I think it's because we make such fools of ourselves over it.

Oh God. She probably thinks we were off doing—you know—romantic type, um, things—

Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

Love is a four-letter word, but you don't hear in nearly as often as you hear some other four-letter words. It may be a sign of our times that everyone talks openly about sex, but we seem to be embarrassed to talk about love.

I've given guys blow jobs just because I've run out of things to talk about.' Oh, Rae. Who hasn't

When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.

Sam laughed, a funny, self-deprecating laugh. "You did read a lot. And spent too much time just inside the kitchen window, where I couldn't see you very well." "And not enough time mostly naked in front of my bedroom window?" I teased. Sam turned bright red. "That," he said, "is so not the point of this conversation.

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

Peter,” Ashley asked softly, “Do you know what that was?” “Of course,” Peter said, much affronted. “A thimble.” “No,” said Ashley, staring, “That was a kiss.” “Didn’t it strike you as a little different from other thimbles you’ve had in the past?” Peter looked shifty. “Well, yes.” “Ha!” “It was my first thimble with tongue.” Peter told her with dignity.

We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together.

My worst habit is...getting naked all the time haha...sorry.

Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?

Let me get one thing straight; I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice; no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.

You have to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

I think people often try to find through sex things that are much easier to find in other ways.

I was once involved in a same-sex marriage. There was the same sex over and over and over.