Steven Soderbergh Quotes

I suffer from IBS so I'm severely constipated at all times.

I think a lot of ex-addicts. They find a lot of humor in what they did because they lived through it.

I was woundering what he would say, what word could sum me up right then, when i saw the lights come across his face, blaringly yellow, and suddenly he was brighter, and brighter, and i asked him what was happening, what was wrong. I remember only that light, so strong it spilled across my shoulders, and lit up his face, and how scared he looked as something big and loud hit my door, sending glass shattering across me, little sparks catching the light like diamonds, as they fell, with me, into the dark.

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

It's almost like you see too much, because when it happens for real, everything flies at you so fast, you never get a sense of the ice and where everyone is at that one moment.

When I close my eyes, I still see things no one should ever experience: a bright red light, the black cloud soon after, people running in every direction trying desperately to escape - I remember it all.

Ask yourself, how do you feel after you eat that? If you're going to the bathroom every time you have pasta, you might have an intolerance for wheat - which could explain, for instance, why you're gaining weight.

For a lot of people, life's been pretty good. There hasn't been true terror right in your face.

I did meet Steve Wozniak on several occasions leading up to the filming of the movie. It wasn’t really written how he is. So the second I met him, it almost was a relief, because I was like, "OK, good, the real Steve Wozniak is like one of the least confrontational people you would ever meet in your entire life."

I guess it started in London, the night our dad blew up the British museum.

Her only thought was of getting away, as if she were carrying a live grenade from inside the house, so that when it exploded, it would destroy just herself.

I met a woman who photographed celebrity dogs for a book, and she told me that Ralph Lauren's dog is named Rugby. I said, Yeah, but his real name is Stickball.

I'm OMAC! Evacuate this section! I'm going to destroy it!

Raids are slightly constipating.

Every schoolmaster after the age of forty-nine, is inclined to flatulence is apt to swallow frequently and to puff

I feel like we can prove in real time the old trope that comedy is tragedy plus time.

One of the things is that in times of severe disorder, you can't worry about the dead, only the living.

A little talent is a good thing to have if you want to be a writer. But the only real requirement is the ability to remember every scar.

This was real. And it was me. I had lived that life, and I had died that death. I was staring at the very end of me.

Man versus woman equals fun. Man versus man equals gay. Woman versus woman equals awesome. Man versus pillow equals crazy. Pillow versus pillow equals crazy awesome - that's a real pillow fight right there. You see two pillows fighting, you know something's going down. They're designed for relaxation. If they're fighting, what hope do we have? One time I saw two geese fighting, and I was like, 'This is a pillow fight ahead of time.

To experience real agony is something hard to write about, impossible to understand while it grips you; you're frightened out of your wits, can’t sit still, move, or even go decently insane.

I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much . . . because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.

An hour before his world exploded like a ripe tomato under a stiletto heel, Myron bit into a fresh pastry that tasted suspiciously like urinal cake.

The last thing I wanted to do was blow up another school.

Hitler suffered acutely from meteorism; perhaps he did not suffer so acutely as those around him, since meteorism is uncontrolled farting, a condition exacerbated by Hitler's strictly vegetarian diet.