Erma Bombeck Quotes

One of the most considerable advantages the great have over their inferiors is to have servants as good as themselves.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

In the field of snobbery, Australia is an underdeveloped country; even a few British ex-colonies, regarded as under developed in all other respects, could export a great deal of snobbery to Australia and still have enough to spare for their own, internal needs.

The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.

She used to be a teacher but she has no class now.

As long as there are rich people in the world, they will be desirous of distinguishing themselves from the poor.

In England the more horses a nobleman has, the more popular he is. So long as the English are devoted to racing, Socialism has no chance with you.

Abstention from labor is the conventional evidence of wealth and is therefore the conventional mark of social standing.

In junior high, there were a lot of really ugly guys who were popular because they made people laugh. I was like, "Wow, comedy is the great freer of hideous people." It was an incredibly liberating thing. If you ask a girl, "What do you want in a guy?" 99 percent are like, "I just want him to be funny." I thought, "If that applies to women, I'm set.

[P]ride is something only folk with money can afford.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.

It's the end of the day where wives stay home and raise the kids and all that. That demeaning stuff? No more. Country club memberships, that's what you shoot for! To hell with that.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.

Noble descent and worth, unless united with wealth, are esteemed no more than seaweed.

If I go up to Harlem or down to Sixth Street, and I'm not dressed up or I'm not wearing my jewelry, then the people feel I'm talking down to them. People expect to see Mrs. Astor, not some dowdy old lady, and I don't intend to disappoint.

The chief use of servants is the evidence they afford of the master's ability to pay.

I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

The keeping of an idle woman is a badge of superior social status.

Rich apparel has strange virtues; it makes him that hath it without means esteemed for an excellent wit; he that enjoys it with means puts the world in remembrance of his means.

Today nobility is gone: there is only a peerage.

I'm proud to be part of a generation where reading is a 'look.'

The taste of the more recent accessions to the leisure class proper and of the middle and lower classes still requires a pecuniary beauty to supplement the aesthetic beauty, even in those objects which are primarily admired for the beauty that belongs to them as natural growths.

Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.