Chuck Klosterman Quotes

I don't really get embarrassed a lot because I feel like life goes on. I mean, I fell on stage one time; like, I tripped one time. My voice cracked... That's pretty embarrassing.

The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles, but I had on thick tights underneath.

I accidentally entered a youth pageant when I was 14. That's like a beauty pageant, but without the beauty. It was terrible.

Somebody ripped their pants open at my wedding, dipping my mother. My mother is not a lady who throws herself into a dip that often, so I don't think he thought she was really going to do it.

I abhor nothing more than bumping into someone I know on the Tube.

I was on stage with Cyndi Lauper, and my trousers split. It seemed like she was going to sing for ever.

He does not shake hands, having experienced some injury by the frequent and too forcible use the "dear people" have made of that avenue to his heart.

My first go at drinking did not go so well. I ended up getting sick in front of everybody. You know that Ginuwine song 'Pony'? It was playing at the party while I was getting sick. My entire senior year, everyone sang that around me. For a year. I would like that erased from my memory.

One of my least favorite things is having my full name called out at the pharmacy. I always try to cut them off before they can say 'Spielberg.'

I go to the British Comedy Awards and, you know, quite a few people were making jokes at my expense. It just made me feel awful, because I am there with my wife and she has gone out and bought a dress. And it is my big night and I won, and yet the overriding experience was that of nastiness.

I don't want to go to work and get into bed with someone else, not even Tom Cruise. It's not like I enjoy it.

But when I first got cancer, after the initial shock and the fear and paranoia and crying and all that goes with cancer - that word means to most people ultimate death - I decided to see what I could do to take that negative and use it in a positive way.

A fan once asked if he could have a piece of my hair for voodoo. I said no, so he hugged me and plucked out a couple of hairs and ran off.

The attractive lady whom I had only recently been introduced to dropped into my lap... I chose not to dump her off.

I'll just be sitting down having dinner with girlfriends or something and people come up and ruin the dinner.

During my school days, I was doing a play, and my costume fell on the stage. I really wish it didn't happen.

I have scars on the backs of my arms from dressers in Paris scraping me with pins as I was taking a shirt or gown off.

I hate it when people come up to me when I'm eating.

But, you know, it's still a drag to get your picture taken when you're eating a sandwich. It's a downer.

I go to the gym in a baseball cap, sweats and then run into a boy I like. It happens - so what?

I was out with my mum when a man started screaming at me: 'Georgia Groome. I love you.' Mum and I just looked at each other for a split second - and then ran away as fast as we could.

I don't put myself through that nauseating experience of looking at someone's face while they go through your stuff. Ugh! It's just horrible! It gives me the cringes to even think about it.

Last time I blushed was when I smoothed my hands over the back of my dress and actually touched skin. Seems the material was tucked into my underwear, and everyone around me had gotten a show. This, of course, was at a romance writers' conference.

Well, sometimes if I go out to dinner with my family, people will come up to me and put their hand across my plate for me to shake, sometimes when I have a bite of food in my mouth. I find this a bit disturbing.

Sometimes I had to room with Tony Kaye and that was awful.