Groucho Marx Quotes

It's kind of low brow, but the show 'Bob's Burgers' is hilarious, and being from the Midwest, I can kind of relate to a lot of the jokes. 'Orange is The New Black' is a Netflix Exclusive, I think - that's really funny.

As a comic, I used to know more about pop culture.

I was in high school when Will Ferrell was first on 'Saturday Night Live', and I remember thinking, 'Man, that guy is the funniest guy ever.'

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

I was not a child star. I was more like a young auditioner.

The '80s was a great decade for comedy.

When I got to Hollywood, there wasn't even a Boulevard. I'm that old. It was just a little dirt trail. I'm kidding.

You can laugh at me, but I understand show business.

When I tell my friends, 'I'm in the 'Bourne' movie,' they're like, 'Congratulations! Wait... is Matt Damon coming back?' I go, 'Yeah.' And they're like, 'Yo! Matt Damon! Matty D!' Everyone pretends they know Matt Damon. It's exciting.

I did say to myself one day, 'I'd love to be a Jewish comedian,' but that's my only memory with any connection to show business.

A lot of people didn't know I was doing Broadway. They thought I was one of those guys who was famous for being famous. I was the one who sat next to Charles Nelson Reilly and said funny things.

Dave Chappelle - he's one of my favorite icons. I can't think of anyone who's funnier.

Little Mix are hilarious.

Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes for the CD. You know what sweeten means, right? Sweeten is a show-biz term for "add sugar to".

As a dancer I couldn't outdance Ginger Rogers or Eleanor Powell. As a singer I'm no rival to Doris Day. As an actress I don't take myself seriously...I'm the girl the truck drivers love.

Oscar and I have something in common. Oscar first came to Hollywood scene in 1928. So did I. We're both a little weather-beaten, but we're still here and plan to be around for a whole lot longer.

In a funny way, I like the past, I'm a very nostalgic person.

I knew I wanted to be in show business so I took the path of least resistance. I loved comedy. But you never know you are funny until people laugh. It's just what I was interested in. I could make people laugh, I guess, but doing it at school and doing it onstage are very different things.

I love Ice Cube and Charlie Day. They're brilliant men, great actors and very funny people.

I thought she was the funniest woman, and I believed being a comedian was the most exciting thing you could be.

I've always been a fan at home. That's the one joke I have with Sam [Champion]. "I've always loved you! I remember wanting to be you in grade school!"

I was always sort of a ham as a kid, just always wanting to entertain and to get people to laugh.

I'd love to do a film with Mariah. But it would have to be a comedy. She's the funniest woman in the world, she just cracks me up all the time.