Conan O'Brien Quotes

People should just be aware of how they are eating... yesterday I had a McDonald's breakfast and pizza too - but that's bad.

I don't go to McDonald's anymore. After I saw Super Size Me... no way!

People come into McDonald's two to three times a month - to extrapolate that to the cause of obesity is a real stretch.

It was funny, when I got to Australia to The Presidents Cup, I ate about 6,000 calories.

I played sports, so I understood quickly I shouldn't be eating fast food because it was slowing me down, making me feel lousy and lazy, and my instincts were not working as they should.

Usain Bolt won the gold for the men's 100- and 200-meter dashes for the second Olympics in a row. You know, he has been running since he was in elementary school - kind of like Mitt Romney.

An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you're swimming.

Everyone knows I drink a lot of Diet Coke, so...I drink chocolate milk after races as my recovery drink, and you won't ever find me without a peanut butter sandwich in my bag at races or without a jar of peanut butter when I am heading to Europe.

"Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"

What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

Every McDonald's commercial ends the same way: Prices and participation may vary. I wanna open a McDonald's and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner. "Cheeseburgers?" "Nope! We got spaghetti, and blankets."

All I know is that when I needed McDonald’s, McDonald’s was there for me.

I can eat everything; chocolate, hamburgers, pizza, go to McDonalds, Burger King, KFC. It's all in my body.

Nigel Mansell is the last person in the race apart from the five in front of him

every seven miles, in America, there is at least one McDonald's. Not a hospital, mind you, or a police station, but a McDonald's, every seven miles. I mean, that's sort of scary, if you think about it.

McDonald's is the ultimate symbol of passive conformity.

Food is a big bargain in America, and you can go to these places, we all like them, and you get big portions, and they taste good. But they're higher in fat than ever before. And same thing has happened, by the way, though, to school menus. A lot of school lunch menus have more fat and more sugar than ever before.

I believe in God, family, and McDonald's. And in the office, that order is reversed.

If it tastes good, spit it out. All those cakes and pies and candy and ice cream -- all that terrible fast food stuff! I just bought a new corvette sports car ... would I put oil in the gas tank? Would I?

I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I'm a whitebread cracker. That's my favorite white person slur: "whitebread". The other day, someone came up to me and said, "What's up, whitebread?" And I was like, "That's not even an insult. That's just my race plus a food. I can do that, too, black bean soup! Stay out of this, Asian chicken platter!"

Heath Slater, or the chick from Wendy's

Even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during games. Then, after sampling the British food, they said, on second thought, fasting sounds good.

McDonald's is a people business, and that smile on that counter girl's face when she takes your order is a vital part of our image.