Hari Kondabolu Quotes

My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny?

Although I do stand-up - doing actual stage work is terrifying for me.

I haven't really done a lot of comedy. It's something that terrifies me.

Stand-up. It's the only place I'm comfortable.

People often tell me that they have no idea how I can do standup. The idea of trying to make a large group of strangers laugh is, for many, absolutely petrifying - and it is - but there are ways of gradually developing the material that can ease the fear.

I get really nervous at auditions. I know how to make people laugh, but auditions just really make me nervous.

Comedy kind of terrifies me. I feel pretty intimidated.

What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier.

I was the class clown, but I was a reluctant class clown because I was always and still am somewhat embarrassed by performing. I have terrible stage fright, and I don't like being in front of people.

I don't think there's anything more scary than being forced into doing stand-up comedy.

I think my worst nightmare is standing up in front of a group of people.

I think comedy stems from being honest, often painfully so. I hope I can achieve that perspective in my own life and also have fun.

Stand-up comedy seems like a terrifying thing. Objectively. Before anyone has done it, it seems like one of the most frightening things you could conceive, and there's just no shortcut - you just have to do it.

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.

For the Oscars, I had a speech in my hand, and I just knew if I opened the piece of paper, I was going to be unable to read it. So I just thought, 'I'm going to say, as coherently as I can, whatever I can.'

The truth is, I hate to perform. I get such bad stage fright, it makes me physically ill.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.

Live TV would terrify anybody.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

I failed to get into drama school, and my best friend told me I should do stand-up instead. I was always doing gags and voices, so he booked a gig for me without telling me. I only had four days to write it. I did a seven-minute set; the first four minutes were terrible, but the last two were amazing.

It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant.

I will not do festivals. The thought of an audience that big frightens the life out of me.

I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.

My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line.

I don't have a desire to do reality. Because my truth is not what people are responding to. My truth is funny; I laugh with my husband every day.