Dennis Miller Quotes

Maybe I'll create a guidebook for future political spouses: the dos and don'ts in D.C.

It's amazing to me that people have any interest in such a low-level sex scandal. If I were sleeping with a congressman, maybe, but I'm a nobody and the people I'm writing about are nobodies.

Yes, Bill Clinton is a big flirt.

In politics nothing is contemptible.

Callista Gingrich has, I suspect, given Newt's advisers a giant headache. She's a constant presence at her husband's side - and a constant reminder of his acknowledged infidelity. Newt cheated on his second wife with Callista, a woman 23 years his junior.

I think very poorly of United Russia. United Russia is the party of corruption, the party of crooks and thieves.

The United States is considered a puritanical society by many Western nations. For example, they can't believe we hassle public servants like General David Petraeus because he had a mistress. In France, if a powerful man doesn't have a mistress, he's considered a wimp.

The more highly public life is organized the lower does its morality sink.

Politics only makes the difficult challenge of marriage even harder, with the demands of the job and the public spotlight it casts on a union.

My wife told me if there is any rumors about me, it better be about politics and not about my social life.

It is not difficult to govern. All one has to do is not to offend the noble families.

By every measure, John Kennedy's sex life was compulsive and reckless. At one level, it had clear public consequences. Knowledge of Kennedy's behavior gave FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover absolute job security, as well as the potential power to derail Kennedy's re-election had he survived assassination.

Politics is its own world. It is a court and if the king's eye lights on you, you are a powerful figure. If the king's eye wanders elsewhere, you are out, whatever your title.

I would love to do an unauthorized biography about Congress... It's like a secret society up there.

The President betrayed his wife. He did not betray the country.

Any man familiar with public life realizes the foul gossip which ripples just under the surface about almost every public man, and especially about every President

Washington is not a geographical entity, it is a state of mind.... People understand how Cleveland works. They even understand how New York City works, but they can't figure Washington out.

Some statesmen go to Congress and some go to jail. It is the same thing, after all.

A congressman would rather be called a pervert than a protectionist right now. And he'd probably get better treatment from the press if he was.

Politics are now nothing more than the means of rising in the world.

In France a woman will not go to sleep until she has talked over affairs of state with her lover or her husband.

Eaton has just married his mistress—and the mistress of eleven dozen others!

What astounded me most amid my new surroundings was to find that the eunuchs, whom I had always thought of as contemptible creatures, were in reality beings of great importance, and that some of them enjoyed the confidence of the ruler even in state affairs, and that they were all treated with the greatest deference by the highest officials. I was warned on no account to offend one of them, as they had it in their power to do harm to any one, no matter what his rank might be, to whom they took a dislike.

My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth there's hardly any difference.

Washington is rigged to favor people who have an army of lobbyists.