Carol Leifer Quotes

Marriage of attraction is a gamble anyway, so you might as well marry into a family that is similar to your own, and make that much less of an adjustment. But the 'love marriage', as it is called, is equally common in India now. But it would be interesting to do a comparison of what would work better. Marriage is hard work, and it is a gamble.

Cross-cultural marriage is difficult, especially when one person has to live in another country. But I thought there was a very good chance of it working because people grow together if they have a common passion.

My background wasn't an issue for her or for her family. But if someone had said to my parents back in the 1970s that one of their children would have a mixed marriage, I think they'd have thought that was very unusual.

The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.

The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.

I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."

Men and animals regard each other across a gulf of mutual incomprehension.

It struck her all at once that dealing with other human beings was an awful lot of work.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.

People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth.

"In France," Marcel said with wintry dignity, "accidents occur in the bedroom, not the kitchen."

Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody said anything. Then they finished, they both lit up a cigarette and this woman stood up and said, Excuse me, I think you'll find this is a non-smoking compartment.

Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.

I don't like human nature, but I do like human beings.

When we are dealing with human beings, no truth has reality by itself; it is always dependent upon the reality of the immediate relationship.

Whatever matters to human beings, trust is the atmosphere in which it thrives.

Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.

It is not until you have the courage to engage in human relationships that you grow.

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

All human relationships must be purchased with money.

The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. "This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?"