Kevin Nealon Quotes

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

I had a flair for comedy and could give a sustained performance.

It's one thing to be funny in a tweet. It is another to be funny for an hour.

To be a comedian, you gotta jokesmith, there's no way around it.

I never used to tell jokes on stage. Now I'm cutting up jokes all night long.

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

When you're doing stand-up, you can comment if something fails, get a laugh from that.

I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.

I think to be a successful comic, you have to be exceptionally smart and exceptionally perceptive.

You can't make people laugh for more than half an hour and be consistent.

I've never really told jokes. I'm not good at it.

The really good stand up comedians can be angry but relatable, and they have interestingly humanizing personalities. Their observational skills are far greater than mine, so I'll just stick to reading lines off a page.

I was the kid who always hung back and then dropped the jokes when you least expected it. Timing was everything. My mouth sort of developed over time.

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

You can't teach someone to be funny, but you can teach comic timing. If you listen to a good comic, you can learn how to put it on a page.

Whenever I go on a show with a comedian I just counter punch.

You don't need to be stable to be a stand-up comedian.

Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story.

It takes both courage and talent to stand up in front of fellow human beings and make them crack a smile, and at the same time keep it clean.

I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an amazing feeling.

As a comedian, I think you need to keep things real.

I've never considered stand-up. Luckily I'm given great lines to say. I'm not sure how great my timing would be if I actually had to come up with my own jokes.

If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

I told jokes badly.