Bill O'Reilly Quotes

When you're doing stand-up, you can comment if something fails, get a laugh from that.

I was the kid who always hung back and then dropped the jokes when you least expected it. Timing was everything. My mouth sort of developed over time.

I never used to tell jokes on stage. Now I'm cutting up jokes all night long.

I think comedy is one of the hardest things to pull off. You either have timing or you don't, and that's something I don't have for sure.

When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

I might've been witty, but I didn't have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian.

Comedy is easy. You have to react to what others are saying and it is all about the timing, the dialogue delivery.

As a comic, you are trying to please people in some way - to make them laugh.

I was once doing a gig with Tim Vine; he was backstage, and there was one of those long strings of polystyrene coffee cups. He picked up the whole stack of about 20, walked on stage and then said: 'Bloody hell this coffee's hot!' which I think is the funniest thing anyone has ever said.

Whenever I realize I'm being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect it has on the audience. No one wants to see someone talk who takes themselves too seriously.

The best timed joke or the best timed phrase comes at spontaneous moments and just relies on me as the host to be very quick, and that's what I do.

It's funny, the hardest thing to do is to make something look like it's fast, loose and improvised, and get somebody to laugh.

Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air.

I became a specialist at comedic one-liners.

The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences.

When you're a stand-up, you play in front of 600 people, and it's all about timing. I could never do stand-up comedy; it would be way too hard for me.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.

My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.

I'm not a comedian, but I love the comedians who know when to get off the stage.

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!

Kind of the exhausting thing about doing pure comedy, or something that's broader, is you're kind of a slave to the laugh. If it's not funny, then there's not much point in doing it. The kind of ueber-objective is to make people laugh. You always have to have that in the back of your mind, 'Eh, I've got to figure out a way to make this funny.'

When you're a standup comic, you get up and you try stuff, and you're always kind of seeing how far you can push things.

Making people laugh is magic. I feel like if you have humility, then you can do anything in comedy.

If something strikes me as funny, I'll put it in my performance.