Quick Wit Quotes

My timing is so precise, a heckler would have to make an appointment just to get a word in.

[To the man who came up to her at a party and exclaimed effusively, 'Tallulah! I haven't seen you for 41 years!':] I thought I told you to wait in the car.

I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.

Wit: a whim followed by a wham.

Anyone who knows me knows how sharp my mind is. I speak at a thousand miles an hour. I'll hold a discussion or a debate with anyone.

You must have a twinkle in your eye, a naughtiness - and the audience must realize your mind is working faster than your words.

I've built a career on the survival skill I honed early on: being a smart aleck who is good with a fast comeback.

Humor is just truth, only faster!

The finest all-around performer we ever had in America was Judy Garland. There was no limit to her talent. She was the quickest, brightest person I ever worked with.

I've never really prided myself as being quick on my feet. Maybe you've had the experience where somebody's asked you a question and you give an answer, then later in the day you think, "Oh, I wish I'd said that!" I tend to journal these things and put the answers in sermons.

A talent for repartee is one that increases with practice.

Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond.

I'm really comfortable doing voice-overs, but it's really fun to do animation. Those animation talents are hysterical. They're so good, and they're so amazingly quick on their feet.

I never could tell a joke. I just started talking to the audience, and when the drunks would yell, "Hey, when do the broads come on?" I got good at saying, "Relax. Clear your skin up first." They called me "the insult guy," but it's never mean-spirited. I'm just exaggerating everything about us and about life.

I'm the one who is always bantering. Millie Bright and Rach Daly are pretty bad. Jill Scott is up there, too, but I'm probably the one who initiates it all, and people come back at me.

The impromptu reply is precisely the touchstone of the man of wit.

I always think of the good comebacks on the car ride home.

She asked me why I always had something flip to say. I said that I didn't know, but having been blessed with the gift, I felt obliged to use it.

Not a time with him passed that I didn't say, "You should've been a comedian." [Vincent Price] was hilarious. He was just such a quick, funny wit. I don't think most people would think that about him, and it was really surprising to me. But man, the guy had a brilliant wit.

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

Ack!" I said. Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.

I can make people laugh at the drop of a dime. God's given me that ability.