John Lothrop Motley Quotes

It is a truth universally acknowledged that one only comes up with clever, cutting remarks long after the other party is happily slumbering away.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit.

I wish I had the ability to crack wise, generally. You know, without getting punched. There's no way I could do it while getting beaten up. Definitely.

A good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

I was always writing. I was writing in high school because it was a really competitive school for class clowns; I used to have to write all of my snaps and my disses the night before and then act like I was making it up the next day.

I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation.

When you're around people who are trying to be funny all day and trying to one-up each other, that's just naturally - if you want to do it - it's going to make you better.

Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Can I ask you a question?" "You already have." He paused, considering. "Can I ask you two questions, then?" "You already have.

I'm not even really a joke-teller. I can do ad-lib and banter, but I don't do jokes.

I like witty people, people who can be witty on the spot.

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

In terms of the creative side of it, it's really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

Wittiness turns me on more than anything else.

For my own part I think no innocent species of wit or pleasantry should be suppressed: and that a good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.

I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.

Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn.'

I don't have a very quick sense of humor.

I'm really bad at writing jokes.

I'm no good at the one-liner thing. It's just not me.

I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.