Lauren Willig Quotes

A talent for repartee is one that increases with practice.

Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit.

Repartee is altogether a natural endowment, and is the lightning of the mind.

I love insults, devastating takedowns, things that could be described by Twitter hacks as 'shots fired,' and funny ad hominem attacks.

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

I wish I had the ability to crack wise, generally. You know, without getting punched. There's no way I could do it while getting beaten up. Definitely.

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you.

I always think of the good comebacks on the car ride home.

My lines are witty in nature and I love to be surrounded by people who are witty.

This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says "you like baseball?" I said, "Oh, man, I love baseball." So he goes "Did you know that if Jesus had played ball, he'd have been the greatest ball player ever?" Like I'm gonna argue with that logic. So I sat there for a second, and then I said "did you know that if Babe Ruth had been the Messiah, the Catholics would have beer and hot dogs at Communion?" He left.

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food, and few things in the world are more wearying than a sarcastic attitude towards life.

Simon: Anyone ever tell you your sense of timing really sucks? Derek: That's why I don't play the drums. Now what's up?

You didn’t tell me she was so soft on the eyes,” he said to Patch, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He spoke with a heavy Irish accent. “I didn’t tell her how hard you are on them either,” Patch returned, his mouth at the relaxed stage just before a grin.

[To the man who came up to her at a party and exclaimed effusively, 'Tallulah! I haven't seen you for 41 years!':] I thought I told you to wait in the car.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.

I'm not witty.

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

This has been a most wonderful evening. Gertrude has said things tonight it will take her 10 years to understand.