Dave Attell Quotes

you may be right, I may be crazy, but it just might be a lunatic you're looking for

I thought you were sane," I said, "but you're just as crazy as the rest of them.

Do you have any notion of how goddamned crazy you are?

We are all born mad. Some remain so.

I don't think you ever know in yourself whether you have gone mad.

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?

Perhaps I'm absolutely bonkers and don't know it. Perhaps I'm psychotically mental.

The Fuhrer is quite shattered. What a sight for the world’s eyes: the Fuhrer’s deputy a mentally disturbed man. Dreadful and unthinkable. Now we shall have to grit our teeth.

'Crazy' is a term of art; 'Insane' is a term of law. Remember that, and you will save yourself a lot of trouble.

I like it when one is not certain what one sees. When we do not know why the photographer has taken a picture and when we do not know why we are looking at it, all of a sudden we discover something that we start seeing. I like this confusion.

I'm definitely not as crazy as Fred!

Am I, or the others crazy?

September could see it. She did not know what is was she saw. That is the disadvantage of being a heroine, rather than a narrator. She knew only that a red light glowed and went dark, glowed and went dark.

Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.

Sometimes I think that if I wasn't crazy... I'd go crazy.

"Well? Is it true? Did she?" "Did she what?" "You know. Fall outta the crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down?"

If you went crazy, would you know it?

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

Dude, are my eyes seeing what my brain is telling my eyes that they're seeing?

They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.

He's very nice. He's something I replied. She considered this zipping her purse shut. Then she said Well everyone is. Everyone is Something. For some reason that stuck with me simple and yet not every since she'd said it. It was like a puzzle as well two vague words with one clear one between them.