Dave Barry Quotes

Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road; Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk; and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.

I get tickets all the time and can't stay under the speed limit. I'm bad at that.

I don't need to break the speed limit. But if I'm not passing other vehicles on the interstate, I get a little irritated.

As far as the media goes, I'm driving in the left lane at 28 miles an hour.

You get a lot of speeding tickets, and you say, 'I'm so unlucky!' No, you're not. You're speeding. Slow down.

My speeding offences (whether caught or not) are always in situations where the speed limit is 30, but I think it's 40. And I'm never doing 40, always a careful 37.

I pay higher premiums because my speeding points spell 'recklessness' to the insurance company, but you can't imagine how risk-averse I am at the wheel. I only go over 30 at all because it's dangerous to drive too much slower than everyone else.

The last time I was pulled over was in 2005. I was going 55 in a 35 mile per hour zone - which I don't understand because you can barely even idle at 35 miles per hour. Anyway, I was ordered to go to traffic school. It was an 8-hour class and really painful.

I'm the slowest driver in the world.

I never exceed the posted speed limit.

I speed up past mirrors.

The speed limit on most of Maui's highways is forty miles per hour, but my mother never went above thirty.

Faster roads are not always safer roads - and virtually all societies, democratic or authoritarian, prefer safety over speed, even if many of their citizens enjoy fast driving.

Everybody just uses the one-move rule without realising when it is too late to actually move and cross over and when it is actually being dangerous.

You see people in the left lane, and as long as they are on the speed limit, they stay there. Get in the right lane and let people pass you - let the police worry about somebody who wants to speed. Don't force them pass in the right lane and zig zag, which can create an accident, just because you think you're correct.

I've been fined probably more than any driver, and I've probably paid it out of my own pocket more than any driver.

Superman don't need no seat belt.

I've never wanted to drive a car fast for the sake of it. I mean, I like nice cars. I've got the Bentley, I've had a Lotus, I've had a Rolls-Royce and a few Jaguars, including an E-type. But I'm not somebody for driving tremendously fast.

The driver of a carriage or the rider of a bicycle along the streets of a city is bound to anticipate that passengers on foot may be at the crossings and to take reasonable care not to injure them. If he fails to look out for them, or when he sees, does not, so far as is in his power, avoid them, he is chargeable with negligence

No, no I don't speed or anything. I drive a VW Touareg so.

Let's just say I don't have any points on my licence, and I drive quickly sometimes.

It's crazy: when it's raining, it makes no sense to me that people drive 10 miles an hour faster than they normally would, but then the other thing that makes no sense is when people drive 30 miles an hour slower than normal.

My mother taught me to drive using the 'Detroit Method,' where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions.

It's true that I've driven through a number of red lights on occasion, but on the other hand, I've stopped at a lot of green ones but never gotten credit for it.

If you don't want a speeding ticket, don't speed.