Emo Philips Quotes

Oh God. She probably thinks we were off doing—you know—romantic type, um, things—

Sing!" Grandpa Smedry yelled, his voice echoing down a hallway to the right."Sing!" If he breaks into song I think I might have to strangle myself... I thought, cringing.

Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'

I was so astonished that I could think of nothing to say, but wondered irrelevantly if I was to be caught with a teapot in my hand on every dramatic occasion.

Whenever you get a bunch of guys that are funny or think they’re funny, when you first meet, there’s always a lot of bits and it’s never, ever, ever funny. So basically you have to get through the awkwardness.

Anyone who thinks it’s funny to name their network "Tom’sHugeEtc" is going to think it’s funny that one of his neighbors is also named Tom and is embarrassed by it.

Guy? Mister? Mr. Goth Man, would you please wake up so I can leave? I really don't want to hang out in a closet with a dead man any longer than I have to, okay? C'mon, please, don't make this a Weekend at Bernie's thing! (Amanda)

I can't say that period talk is my favorite bonding arena. But I also think it's sort of funny.

I wouldn't say I'm normal. But I'm relatively stable. When I think of normal, I think of mediocrity, and mediocrity scares the f--- out of me.

My phone buzzes. It’s from Karou: a list of conversation openers that I won’t be needing. —a) Hi. I’m Zuzana. I’m actually a marionette brought to life by the Blue Fairy, and the only way I can gain a soul is if a human falls in love with me. Help a puppet out? —b) Hi. I’m Zuzana. The touch of my lips imparts immortality. Just sayin’. —c) Hi. I’m Zuzana. I think I might like you.

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.

Yet Byron never made tea as you do, who fill the pot so that when you put the lid on the tea spills over. There is a brown pool on the table--it is running among your books and papers. Now you mop it up, clumsily, with your pocket-hankerchief. You then stuff your hankerchief back into your pocket--that is not Byron; that is so essentially you that if I think of you in twenty years' time, when we are both famous, gouty and intolerable, it will be by that scene: and if you are dead, I shall weep.

I tried to think of something to say. Excuse me? Hello? Marry me? Anything would have done.

I'll leave it to you, Sassenach," he said dryly, "to imagine what it feels like to arrive unexpectedly in the midst of a brothel, in possession of a verra large sausage.

I think a band that doesn't have a sense of humor can come up with their own take on whimsy.Kind of lead-footed and ham-handed, but I think just all the better for that.

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

If I had bodily functions, I think I would have peed my pants.

Every time I talk to a fancy journalist and they ask what I do in my free time my scumbag brain goes 'say masturbate, it'll be hilarious'.

Yeah, it’s me, but I like to think I looked better when we met. ‘Cause right now, I’m pretty much hogging all the ugly. (Nick)

Leo got up and brushed himself off. "I hate that guy". He offered Jason his arm like they should go skipping together."I'm Dylan. I'm so cool, I want to date myself, but I can't figure out how! You want to date me instead? You're so lucky!" "Leo" Jason said "You're weird

I knew at the time my haircut was pretty damn god-awful, so I was just hoping that I wasn't one of the joke ones. And they put me through to Hollywood and I thought, "Well okay, maybe I'm still one of the joke ones but at least I'm not terrible?"

Palindromes are the number one conversation stopper, like party killer, I think I've ever seen.

Shut up, me,” Leo said aloud. “What?” Piper asked. “Nothing,” he said. “Long night. I think I’m hallucinating. It’s cool.” Sitting in front, Leo couldn’t see their faces, but he assumed from their silence that his friends were not pleased to have a sleepless, hallucinating dragon driver. “Just joking.” Leo decided it might be good to change the subject.

How ya doin'?' I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, 'A bit early to tell.

I can't stop thinking like this.