Joan Rivers Quotes


I'm going out with these old guys. One guy gave me a hickey and left his teeth in my neck. Another man, we were having a perfectly lovely dinner; he looked up and me and went: You're not my wife! Another guy died during dinner. I had to go in his pocket to get the American Express card. Then you wonder: What would he tip? Another guy said: I want you to meet my family, and took me to the cemetery.


Citations

Rivers, Joan. Don't Count the Candles: Just Keep the Fire Lit! HarperCollins, 1999.

Related Quotes

Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
  • Born: June 8, 1933
  • Died: September 4, 2014
  • Nationality: American
  • Profession: Comedian, Actress, Writer, Producer, Television Host

Joan Alexandra Molinsky, known professionally as Joan Rivers, was an American comedian, actress, writer, producer, and television host. She was noted for her often controversial comedic persona—heavily self-deprecating and sharply acerbic, especially towards celebrities and politicians. She is considered a pioneer of women in comedy by many critics and journalists.