Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

Whatever the hell happens, say, 'This is what I need.'

Some people are like wheelbarrows; useful only when pushed, and very easily upset. The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.

Models need to learn to speak up.

Sometimes, it's hard for me to communicate my discomfort because I want to be respectful. At the same time, I've learned that you have to ask people on your team to help you out.

I'm not the greatest communicator. I kind of internalize a lot. See, I just said I need to be quiet, but that's not the kind of communication I mean. I mean expressing myself or even standing up for myself. I can sometimes be very passive.

The only thing that's problematic is the constant explaining, the constant need to kind of go, No, I don't want that because of such and such. I feel like I'm a pain in the ass, and I don't like being difficult.

If you’re frustrated because you’re not getting what you want, stop for a second: Have you actually flat-out asked for it? If you haven’t, stop complaining. You can’t expect the world to read your mind. You have to put it out there, and sometimes putting it out there is as simple as just saying, “Hey, can I have that?

"A closed mouth doesn't get fed." Oftentimes, we feel not worthy or we don't want to bother people. We forget to ask for help or what we need or would like. My grandmother used to say that quote to us as kids. It's kind of always stuck with me.

It’s never overreacting to ask for what you want and need.

Sometimes people need to be told to sit down and shut up.

Know how to ask. There is nothing more difficult for some people, nor for others, easier.

If there are people who treat me wrong, I either talk to them about it, or I don't talk to them anymore. It's been the most thoughtful and considerate thing I could do for myself and other people. I am going to try to do that forever.

It's not that I can't collaborate. It's just that I don't know how to say no to people. If someone's like, 'Let's write a song together,' it's like, 'You'll write the song, and I'm gonna okay everything.' It's very hard to think that their ideas work with what I'm trying to do.

My managers understood that when I sulk, they talk to me. It's a way for me to be heard.

I think it's really important for young audiences to see that you don't have to apologize for being angry when you're angry, and you don't have to apologize for standing up for yourself when people are pushing you around.

Persuasiveness is really just about getting your ideas across without being forceful. It's a skill that can be learned and is useful for anyone who works in a team environment.

Women can be made to feel like that makes them seem 'too demanding,' but it's better than wasting time on someone who isn't planning any future with you.

When you're not being heard - I can't tell you what to do when you're not being heard. I do think there is a way to move in love and get things done, though.

If what you said was true, where was the need to shout?

Nah," I said. "But if it does, just tell him I said to get back on the bike." "What?" "He'll understand.

I think we need to have a little talk, woman to skank.

Your need to talk does not create in me a need to listen.

Be more assertive with what you want to do.

Raised voices lower esteem. Hot tempers cool friendships. Loose tongues stretch truth. Swelled heads shrink influence. Sharp words dull respect.