Dave Attell Quotes

Children are funny.

I love kids; I think they are fun and funny.

I liked Lady Gaga's meat dress. It was funny.

I have a good sense of humor. I think everything we do should have whimsy in it.

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!'

I'd like to name my kid a whole phrase. You know, something like Ladies and Gentlemen. That'll be a cool name for a kid. This is my son, Ladies and Gentlemen! Then, when he gets out of hand, I get to go, Ladies and Gentlemen, please!

We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

Kids are funny.

It's spelled, like, S-E-R-G. I always thought it would be funny if I called my son 'Sir.' Like calling your daughter 'Ma'am,' or something like that.

I just write and do what I think is funny. Sometimes, you do have it in your head about certain bits. There are certain jokes where I know if I did them in certain situations, it would irk people. There are times where I look at the news and see a story going on, and I'm like, 'Wow, if I tweeted this, I would get press if I wanted to.'

Sometimes I'm convinced that one day I'm going to draw the cartoon that offends everyone, and that'll be the end.

I think the people that most often cross a line are comedians. I think they relish that, and take pride in that on some level - at least, from what little I've seen and understand about people that do stand-up.

A very important part of my workday are the two Nunzillas on my windowsill. They keep me constant company. They're little windup toys, and when they move across the desk, they spark from the mouth. I think of them as my editors. They sort of remind you that the world can be a silly place.

I'm a big fan of Amy Sedaris, and one of her decorating mainstays is to put googly eyes on everything.

Part of the fun of kids is the craziness, and you've got to embrace that side of it as well.

I need my comedy to offend. That's my personal views.

I don't have any interest in filmmakers making statements just for the sake of being provocative.

The main thing I've done for my children is not to give them a stupid name, like actors do.

I'm a very, very silly girl.

I've said things on Twitter that I've said deliberately because I think they're out of order, I think that's the sense of humour that I've got. I like saying things that I think are terrible, because it gives me a buzz.

The Madonna tour thing was definitely funny that - you know, children were crying watching us... and it was interesting seeing how angry their parents were.

I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.