J. D. Salinger Quotes

Looks like the good Lord got your ass and face mixed up.

I never saw myself as Mr. Ugly, but I'm not that handsome. I can sort of be made to look quite a lot better or quite a lot worse.

Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head.

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

I'm the youngest in my family, and everyone is very funny, and I was always trying to keep up with them. I just loved making people laugh.

If you were born really ugly like me, have no fear. There's steps you can take to be good-looking. Kind of.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I have a deep, scratchy voice. Boys would call me Froggy, and my father would often tell me to shut my 'big bazoo.' I remember standing in line for confession. After I walked out, the other kids were like, 'You punched your sister in the face?' Because of my voice, my confession was like speaking into a loudspeaker.

No family is complete without an embarrassing uncle.

You're bruised, as ugly as one of your Cyclops, and I can barely stand to look at you." - Duncan to Madelyne.

People think we really look good. I think that's the biggest misconception people have.

Thou lump of foul deformity!

Maybe you should stay with your mama, you're kind of stupid and ugly, too.

You become really ugly when you become very superficial and self-obsessed.

Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.

Calla readjusted, wrapping the silk around her other thigh instead. "Which one's he again? The pretty one?" Blue and Gansey exchanged a look. Blue's look said, I'm so, so sorry. Gansey's said, Am I the pretty one?

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

A rhinoceros is as ugly as a human being, and it too is going to die, but at least it never thinks that it is beautiful.

You're looking exceptionally ugly tonight, Madam, is it because we have company?

An ugly woman in a rich habit set out with jewels nothing can become.

Comfort is for the lazy and the ugly." Aphrodite

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

I say Gibson, we're old friends, and you're a fool if you take anything I say as an offense. Madam your wife and I didn't hit it off the only time I ever saw her. I won't say she was silly, but I think one of us was silly, and it wasn't me!

My sort of looks are of the kind that bore me when I see them on other people.

Girls are always like, 'Oh, you're much better-looking in person than in pictures.' I'm kinda like, 'Er, thank you? I think? As in, I'm not as ugly as you thought?'